In response to “being a Jewish man’s rebellion”
Much has already been said on the internet about Carey Purcell’s Washington Post op-ed, “I am tired of being a Jewish man’s rebellion”, including a spot-on satirical response in the Forward, “How Dare Jewish Men Keep Breaking Up With Me”. The original is one part bragging about the author’s WASP credentials (pearls and a propensity for cleaning, apparently), one part entitlement to relationships with Jewish men (“lackadaisical” Jews + intermarriage statistics = how dare any Jews still want to marry their own), and one part recasting the end of two such relationships by imagining herself as a last “rebellion” before the men settled down. And then swearing off those mean Jewish men forever — over a cocktail of course, in case the reader was still thirsty for more tired tropes.
It couldn’t have been the two (TWO! what a sample size) men’s stated reason for the relationships’ end — religion. It couldn’t have been the fact that the author is a practicing Christian, in her own words jealous of couples who worship together, dating non-Christian men uninterested in converting and coming from a culture wary of Christianity (because, um, reasons...). And surely it couldn’t have been the cultural differences and misunderstandings highlighted by the piece’s “extremely overbearing” Jewish mother anecdote — ostensibly included to elicit sympathy for Ms. Purcell’s inability to ingratiate herself with the mean Jews, but more successful in highlighting her prejudices and unwillingness to appreciate her partner’s family’s cultural perspective.
The editor who green-lighted this vapid and ill-thought-out take doubled down when challenged on Twitter, defending it as a “perspective” worthy of publishing. I’m not sure what exactly makes it worth of WaPo space; the “Jew dates non-Jews casually but will only marry another Jew” trope is fairly well-known, especially after being a major story arc on Sex and the City 15 years ago (spoiler alert: Charlotte had to convert to Judaism in order to marry the Jewish Harry; one would think someone citing Carrie Bradshaw in her piece would know this). Even in real life, I’ve watched the heartache and confusion of encountering a man’s commitment to his Judaism, only once a serious relationship is on the table and after at least one party is already emotionally invested, happen to non-Jewish friends and acquaintances for over a decade. There’s nothing new or original or even funny that Purcell’s op-ed contributes.
This could have been a think piece on the standards and choices young people make for dating vs. marriage, and whether it is valuable or worth it to date people you know you can’t marry; or on the challenges of interfaith relationships; or about trying to date in a diverse city where one inevitably ends up meeting people they later find to have irreconcilable incompatibilities with, in terms of religion or culture. Instead, it’s a self-congratulatory, transparent attempt by the author to make herself feel better about a whopping TWO failed relationships by playing the “blame the Jews” game, while throwing in anti-Semitic stereotypes, pretending to add a meaty filler by citing those tired intermarriage statistics, and finishing off with a cringe-worthy bacon joke. A story of casting off responsibility for failed relationships and refusing any self-growth beyond an immature “I’m swearing off __ forever!” conclusion is not notable or smart or worthy of publication in a major media outlet.
Perhaps Ms. Purcell can go back to those “manners and etiquette” she claims are so important to her (which apparently only WASPs have a handle on, along with cleanliness; one would think even the most daft of editors would spot the “dirty Jews” insinuation here), and rethink the whiny and self-absorbed image of herself that her piece portrays.
When did it become prim and proper again to openly stereotype and blame the Jews? 2018, apparently.
