Gardening After Retirement
by John Sheirer
Fill your head with dirt. Mix compost, peat moss, and vermiculite for fertile topsoil. Plant flowers in your ears. We recommend narcissus or anemone. Sink the roots of trees in your eye-sockets. Butternut, sugar maple, and cottonwood sing in the wind of breath. Cultivate staple crops in your nose: corn, potatoes, grains. Tropical fruits for the hot-headed. Plow them with your tongue. Pull your teeth like weeds. Irrigate with saliva or any available bodily fluid. Your brain? Suggested options: keep it as a pet, lend it to someone in need, donate it to science, or chop it up for fertilizer.
Bio: John Sheirer lives in Western Massachusetts and is in his 30th year of teaching at Asnuntuck Community College in Enfield, Connecticut. His latest book is the award-winning short story collection, Stumbling Through Adulthood: Linked Stories. Find him at JohnSheirer.com.
