The Woman in the Mirror

By Savannah Hernandez, Ammanda Selethia Moore, and CLS Sandoval
(published by Four Feathers Press as a part of their Libretto Series, 2023)

Every time I see a photo
I cringe at the image of myself
I’m not that youthful twentysomething
With a flowing scarf and slender legs
I had so many plans for that girl
That beautiful, fit, young girl

I don’t recognize the person
That I grew up seeing
Almost concave, flat stomach
Thick hairline, full, wavy locks
Arms toned and muscular
Porcelain complexion

I never thought of what to do
With this thicker, older version

Crows’ feet, grayed-purple bags
Beneath the puffy lids that pillow my dark eyes
Laugh lines fading, mouth corners hang heavy
Emotional bruising and scrapes evident in my reflection
My youth prematurely weathered by threats of loss and grief

I pound the mirror until something breaks
I avoid my reflection as I pass
To cushion the initial shock
And the tears that come to my eyes

I compare my new body, my used body
With all the bodies of my past
Every new scar a marring of the original
Every stretch mark is a reminder
Of what came before