After Gruden Scandal, NFL Vows to Take Serious Look at Widespread Culture of Email Leaking

“Get a load of this. A woman that thinks she can ref?”

New York, NY — After Jon Gruden’s resignation following the leaks of emails he sent to an executive in which he used racist, misogynistic, and anti-gay language, the NFL has stated that this is a wake up call, and it’s finally time to address the league’s toxic culture of email leaking.

“We are disappointed that Jon would disparage the league this way. Clearly we all need to do better. We need to do better to hide our emails,” read a statement from the league.

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell said that he was shocked that a head coach in this league would do such a poor job of hiding his bigotry and that the league will do better going forward.

“I could look past this if it was just one email. We all make mistakes. But to let seven years of emails be made public, is unacceptable. Yes, you could point to the fact that these emails came to light because of a federal investigation into workplace misconduct, but frankly, I’m done making excuses,” said Gooddell.

Every owner and member of front offices will be obligated to attend password sensitivity training. They will also attend seminars entitled “How to Encrypt Your Email,” “Making Your Password Stronger,” “BlockChain and You,” and “Fonts That Are Difficult to Read.”

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Kyle Qualls

Kyle Qualls

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Aspiring comedy writer featured on Points In Case and Funny-ish. He bets you’re not man enough to contact him at kyleaqualls@gmail.com with a job offer.