Gender Reveal Party Causes World War 3
Eugene, OR — An expecting couple held a gender reveal party for family and friends that inadvertently plunged all of the planet’s military superpowers into a third world-wide conflict.
Johnny and Anne-Marie Zamora, the couple in question, went all out, rigging thousands of pounds of fireworks to explode either with blue powder for a boy, or pink powder for a girl. The ensuing explosion was so large that Iran mistook it for an act of military aggression.
Iran moved its missiles into launching position in response, prompting the United States to invade the country. China, Russia, Brazil, India, and the European Union were forced to hastily take sides, leading to all-out war on six continents.
“We’re very sorry for causing the largest geo-political conflict in history,” said Johnny Zamora. “The thought of soon becoming parents gives us so much joy that we just wanted to share that joy with our loved ones. Also we’re total sluts for attention.”
It’s a boy.
The party also put the U.S. military on it’s heels, clogging the barrels of guns across the nation with blue powder.
The couple reports that they hired a professional videographer for the event so that their son will get to see a video of all the death and destruction he caused before even taking his first breath.