George Santos Excited to Celebrate His Heritage During Black History Month

Washington DC — Representative George Santos is looking forward to honoring his African-American heritage throughout Black History Month and using his newfound power and notoriety to bring attention to the challenges facing his people.

Santos arrived at the House chamber wearing his hair in cornrows and sat with the Congressional Black Caucus. He tried to break the ice with fellow representatives by doing Madea impressions and attempting elaborate handshakes, but there were no takers as everyones’ hands were covering their faces.

“As a descendant of slaves who were brought here in 1619, no one knows the African-American struggle better than me,” said Santos while addressing the House.

The Congressman from New York’s 3rd district finished the day with a photo op at the grave of his great-great-grandfather, a man that Santos claims was born a slave, was freed by the Emancipation Proclamation, and went on to serve in Congress as well. The name and dates on the tombstone were illegible due to more than a century of erosion which left it completely featureless, appearing as though it had just been bought from the Halloween section at a Party City.

“Nelson Mandela once said to me when I was just a boy, ‘You will be at least a two-term Congressman.’ Let’s prove him right. Click the link below to donate to my campaign,” said Santos in a press release.



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Kyle Qualls

Aspiring comedy writer featured on Points In Case and Funny-ish. He bets you’re not man enough to contact him at with a job offer.