GOP Senators: “The Best Way to Stop a Bad Guy with an Angry Mob Is a Good Guy with an Angry Mob”

“Ted Cruz” by Gage Skidmore is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

Washington DC — The impeachment trial of Donald Trump began on Tuesday after he incited a mob to attempt an insurrection at the Capitol, and some GOP Senators are putting the blame squarely on the Capitol police for not having an angry mob of their own.

“We need to stop infringing on our God-given right to own an angry mob. The best way to stop a bad guy with an angry mob is a good guy with an angry mob,” said Ted Cruz.

Members of the Republican caucus have gone on TV to argue that the trial is unconstitutional and that Trump cannot receive a fair trial because of biased democratic senators.

They seem to have abandoned those strategies in favor of turning the trial into a conversation about mob rights.

“Mobs don’t kill people. People kill people. What the Capitol needs is its own mob to protect us. Our thousands of angry combatants would’ve met Trump’s in a bloody melee before they ever got inside, and that would’ve saved lives,” said Josh Hawley, who has an A+ rating from the NAMA (National Angry Mob Association).

House Republicans have introduced a bill that would, if passed, remove all restrictions on mob ownership rights. The bill also proposes training for Capitol and school police where they will learn to use inflammatory rhetoric to inspire thousands to kill for them.



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