Has Cancel Culture Gone Too Far? Kyrie Irving Loses Nike Deal After Pushing Baby Stroller into Traffic

Credit: Tommy Gilligan — USA TODAY Sports

Brooklyn, NY — Nike has terminated their deal with Nets guard Kyrie Irving after he pushed a baby in a stroller into the middle of a highway which has led many to wonder if we even have freedom anymore.

“If you want to know who’s in charge, just figure out whose baby you’re not allowed to push into traffic,” said one Twitter account with an American flag emoji in the handle.

Irving has also been suspended for at least five games for this egregious infanticide. Given ample opportunity to apologize in front of the press, he instead dodged questions

“How can I push a baby stroller into traffic if I myself was once a baby?” said Irving when asked if he felt any remorse.

“But do you think that babies deserve to be hit by cars going 70 miles per hour down the Jersey Turnpike?” said one reporter.

“I accept full responsibility for my actions. I’m not intimidated by these cameras. I’m a beacon of light. I’m just a normal person who stood at the elbow of a road and applied a small force to a Graco Trax Jogger 2.0 stroller. Anything that happened after that is just part of your narrative and isn’t my responsibility” said Irving.

Many pundits on sports shows have denounced Irvings actions, drawing the ire of some online who believe that they betrayed their own and were just trying to appease the baby-having executives that sign their paychecks.

--

--

The standard in satirical news. Satirical is how pretentious people say ‘funny.’

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Kyle Qualls

Aspiring comedy writer featured on Points In Case and Funny-ish. He bets you’re not man enough to contact him at kyleaqualls@gmail.com with a job offer.