Israeli Government Blows Up Greek Restaurant After Misreading “Hummus” on the Menu
Secaucus, NJ — Benjamin Netanyahu, Prime Minister of Israel, ordered a preemptive strike on Constantinou’s Family Restaurant after sitting down for a meal and misreading “hummus” on the menu.
“It said what?” said Netanyahu after the restaurant was reduced to a pile of ash by ground-to-ground missiles.
Insisting that this was a major victory for Israeli intelligence and international cooperation, and not an embarrassing gaffe, the Israeli State Department released a statement claiming that they were just being proactive in the fight against Hamas.
“Terrorist organizations are developing more advanced methods by the day. It is not far-fetched at all that a terrorist cell could be hiding in a laminated menu between the ‘Gyro’ and ‘Moussaka,’” read the statement.
The Constantinou family, now without the restaurant they spent their last dime to open when they immigrated to the United States 20 years ago, said that they are relieved Israel is doing everything it can to neutralize any possible threats.
“I think we can all agree that the loss of one innocent fried calamari is one too many, but we support Israel’s right to protect its sovereignty,” said Antony Blinken, U.S. Secretary of State. “I hope to establish a peaceful dialogue between Israel and those who would dare stand in Israel’s way.”
