Latest Mass Shooting Not Racially Motivated, A Sign of Progress

“anti-racism march, glasgow 26 november” by francismckee is licensed under CC BY 2.0

Boulder, CO — The shooting in a Boulder, Colorado supermarket that resulted in 10 deaths doesn’t appear to be racially motivated which is a sign the country’s racial divides are healing.

Just last week, 8 were killed in an anti-Asian hate crime in Atlanta, but the events in Boulder could be a sign that a new, glorious era where mass shooters don’t see race is upon us.

“It was a monumental climb, but it seems like we’ve finally reached a post-racial paradise of gun deaths. Dr. Martin Luther King envisioned a country where people are shot not for the color of their skin, but for the content of their character,” said Keon McCall, a civil rights attorney.

The families of the victims gave a press conference where they expressed relief at the fact that their loved ones were killed because a deranged man was able to get his hands on an assault rifle with virtually no resistance, and no other reason.

“I can’t tell you how much peace it gives me that Dad died because he happened to be at the wrong grocery store, and not because the shooter held some bigoted views of his country of origin,” said one of the victim’s children.

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Kyle Qualls

Kyle Qualls

Aspiring comedy writer featured on Points In Case and Funny-ish. He bets you’re not man enough to contact him at kyleaqualls@gmail.com with a job offer.