Mage Hurdles Pile of Dead Horses at Finish Line to Win Kentucky Derby
Louisville, KY — After an unusually dangerous buildup to Derby Day that saw seven horses die, Mage was able to leap over the mound of horse corpses that had accumulated at the finish line to win the 149th Kentucky Derby.
Mage got off to a terrible start out of the gates, spending most of the race at the back of the pack. The entire field of racehorse struggled with the terrain of the final turn with many tripping on divots in the dirt, breaking legs, or even bursting into flames.
Those that didn’t die immediately were only able to make it far enough to collapse right in front of the finish line in a tragic, flaming, abomination. Mage cleared the pile of its competitors to be the first — and only — horse to finish the race.
“This is a special horse. He was bred specifically to die a natural death and it showed today,” said its owner.
It’s still unclear exactly what about this year’s iteration of the Derby was so treacherous for the horses. No matter the reason, it had become a huge inconvenience for spectators.
Patrons were tripping over dead horses as they explored the concourse. They were spilling out of cabinets onto concessions workers looking for more ingredients for mint juleps.
