The 6 Life Questions leaders should ask themselves

Well, the school semester is finally over. All papers and final exams have been graded and all grades have been posted. Now, a couple of weeks to finalize the preparations for my Fall 2019 courses, finalizing the preparations for the publication of my book on inclusive leadership and then, I am looking forward to a summer of work with the Center for Creative Leadership and a month of vacation in Spain visiting family and disconnecting (as much as possible).

Officially, I started my summer break from the University of Colorado (Colorado Springs) yesterday. And I couldn’t have wish for a better start — the 60th birthday celebration of my good friend Matjaz. Matjaz and I met about 6 years ago when I started teaching graduate level courses at Regis University. We automatically hit it off for many reasons. We are both Thunderbird graduates; both enjoyed a global business career before starting our college teaching careers; we both love learning new stuff; and we are both task-focused easy-going individuals. He is also one of the most patient individuals I have ever met, taking his time asking questions and finding as much as possible before making a suggestion or taking a decision. He enjoys helping other people come to their own conclusion and takes things how they are, without judgment, before trying to suggest any improvements.

Matjaz mentored me through my first international business course at Regis and we worked together, developing a new multicultural approach to teach diversity and inclusion to law enforcement agencies up in the Greater Denver area. We both have an eternal thirst for learning new things and we like to keep things simple and effective. During his birthday celebration, as a perma-teacher, he asked us, the participants, to share with each other the answers to six life questions:

1. How do you define “success”?
2. What is something good you learned from a mistake or something bad that happened to you?
3. What would you like others to remember you for?
4. What surprised you about your life?
5. If you were to talk to yourself as a teenager what would you say?
6. So, what is the purpose or goal of life?

As I prepared my homework for the party, I read through the questions and I realized that the answers covered topics that all leaders should be pondering about themselves. They provide a better understanding of one self, potentially identifying areas of happiness, frustration and potential development areas. Take a minute to think about your own answers before moving forward with your reading of my own answers.

Now, it is important to understand that there are no right or wrong answers. We have talked about vertical development before. The stage where you find yourself now will determine some of these answers and may reveal potential areas of development to move to the next stage, if that’s your decision. Your own work and life experiences will influence what you find important and what you are presently prioritizing. Gallup’s Five Essential Wellbeing Elements looks at five different elements that would affect your responses — Career Wellbeing, Social Wellbeing, Financial Wellbeing, Physical Wellbeing, and Community Wellbeing[1]. At the Center for Creative Leadership, we simplify those elements to four — community (family and friends), career, spiritual and self[2]. Depending on the stage that you are at for any of those different elements, your answers will be different from someone else’s. That’s why this is about self-awareness. Here are my personal thoughts and answers.

How do you define success? I spent the most time thinking about this question. As an entry-level manager at Nokia in the early 1990s, I would have defined success as career success, my accomplishments in sales and marketing in the Latin American region. As a young father in the late nineties, it would have been about my ability to provide for my family. As an older father and more established professional, it would all have focused on balancing my personal and work lives. Now, I would have to say that my definition of success has broaden, with clear foundations and guidelines on doing something that I love (and getting paid for it); having the chance to keep on learning; taking care of myself; and being there for my family and contributing to my community. All those elements would be on top of mind as I define success. Then, I would have to add certain filters such as my willingness to sacrifice my work and career for my family and/or helping the local community through educational programs. Success is finding the right balance between those four basic life elements — work, self, spiritual and community.

What is something good you learned from a mistake or something bad that happened to you? As I pondered about this question, I realized that time is finite. I am one of those individuals that like to plan my day, month, life… I value discipline. I like to say that, since I am not the smartest person around, I have to properly use my time to make the most out of it. Discipline and planning have taken me a long way, professionally and personally. But when you spend your time planning constantly, you are focusing most of your time on the future, ignoring the now, the present. We have all seen movies where the hero has been looking for revenge and when they finally get their “sweet” revenge, they wondered what are they doing to do next with their lives? I would say that while I think planning has definite benefits, it is a mistake to spend one’s time planning for the future the whole time, and ignoring what’s in the now. Live in the present. Be in the now.

What would you like others to remember you for? I have dedicated most of my professional years to learn about other cultures. One of my favorite saying is by the philosopher Baruch Spinoza who wrote in the late 1600s in Tractatus Politicus, that “I have striven not to laugh at human actions, not to weep at them, not to hate them, but to understand them”. Professionally, I tried to learn as much as possible and taught others to be open to other perspectives — “put yourselves in someone else shoes” has been one of my personal mottos. The right answer is on the eye of the beholder, or better yet, on the biased filters of the beholder. Those filters get diluted with cultural exposure and knowledge, developing a better cultural intelligence. I strongly believe that the more cross-culturally educated we become, the easier it will be getting along. I am hoping that I am remembered for those contributions to make this world more inclusive.

What surprised you about your life? This one was the easiest to answer. Beware — Karma does exist.

If you were to talk to yourself as a teenager what would you say? Relax and don’t rush through life; ask more questions; live in the present and meditate more; and you always need to take care of yourself first, so that you can take care of others. Spend more time cooking for others ;-)

So, what is the purpose or goal of life? I think that I will keep this answer to myself.

[1] Rath, T., Harter, J. K., & Harter, J. (2010). Wellbeing: The five essential elements. Simon and Schuster.

[2] Drath, W. H., & Palus, C. J. (1994). Making common sense: Leadership as meaning-making in a community of practice. Center for Creative Leadership.