What we say and what we mean

Notes on a week — October 2, 2016

I spent a good amount of time this week thinking about language and how we use it. Chalk it up to it the coincidence of it being the eve of the Jewish new year, when intentional and behavioral introspection are encouraged, and also last week’s first 2016 presidential debate here in the United States.

During his first campaign, Barack Obama utilized an inspired and inspiring phrase about our national candor and conversation: we can disagree without being disagreeable. It’s a good lesson to remember and it would do us well to recall it now because this election cycle has absolutely normalized hatespeak and vulgarity in ways I find hateful and vulgar.

Instead of speaking (or writing, or tweeting) about candidates and their supporters in terms that disagree but are not disagreeable, folks now pontificate using the worst words imaginable. To wit, I’ve seen this sentiment everywhere, including as an adornment to bumpers on vehicles in my area.

It’s atrocious and it only serves to encourage the lowest common denominator to reach even lower. It’s not the way we should handle our business.

I also thought about language and candor because this week I got a chance to listen to the recently-released final album from comedian (and master wordsmith) George Carlin.

The story goes that Carlin taped this special on September 10th, 2001 and shelved it the next morning, because it was titled, “I Kinda Like It When A Lot Of People Die.”

Now here’s where it gets interesting.

Carlin famously highlighted seven words you couldn’t use [at the time] on television and really in polite company. He also made a career out of using those seven words however and whenever (and wherever) he could.

But my takeaway from this is that words, as we all know, only have real power when tacked onto the intended use behind them.

Carlin’s intention wasn’t irreverence for its own sake, though he was a master at the irreverent. Carlin’s goal was to point out the sheer lunacy and hypocrisy of how people behave, and he chose to present his thesis using the very methods that bothered the offendees. (See Below)

As I enter a new year of sorts, I’m reflective of how I used language these past few months. I’ve spent much of 5776 (the Jewish year) being very quiet. I’ve tried to be mindful of speech. But it’s times like these that I think it’s important to now consider intention. Being aware of the words we used is, I believe, a noble cause. It falls short of the goal though: to be better people we should all examine not just the ways in which we talk to our family, friends, and loved ones, but what we’re really saying when we do. This isn’t just critical because we’re in a time where subtlety, nuance and subtext have all taken hits, but because when we truly examine what we say when we say things, we’ll find we can all be better. And to those of you not on the cusp of a New Year, but perhaps a few months away, it still might be a good time to start working on it early. Don’t put off kindly saying things tomorrow what you can say kindly today.

Love and peace to you all.

Odds and Ends:

• Carlin used this bit a few years after the aforementioned special, but this was how it originally ended. It’s brilliant. It’s life-altering. It’s beautful. Watch this. You wont regret it.

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