So many times I have been so tempted to say to someone “just wait”. Just wait until you are hurt the way you hurt me. Just wait until you are a Pastor and someone treats you the way you are treating my husband. Just wait until you feel as bad as I do. Just wait until I prove you wrong. Just wait until the day you realize what you did. Just wait.

Being in ministry is painful. It just is. There is no way around it. One problem with saying “Just Wait” is you still feel the pain and hurt from this person but you have added revenge and bitterness into you heart. So your pain has magnified. God can touch that pain and heal it, but you have to go to him with it. When you hold onto it and let in the bitterness, you can’t give up the pain so easily.

A couple years into our youth ministry my husband was putting together a youth summer barbecue with games and swimming. I was 6 months pregnant and me being the supportive wife, I helped shop, plan, and organize the event. I carried supplies back and forth and set up tables and games. By the time the barbecue started I was exhausted. The night was a great success. The next day my husband received a scathing email from one of the youth leaders who was also a parent of one of the youth. She berated my husband over the games. The games were obstacles that included messy things like shaving cream and ketchup- and the kids loved them. She thought they were gross and inappropriate. She was extremely critical, sharp tongued, and to be honest I felt like she was down right mean. I took the email to heart and was very hurt. I wanted to say things like “where were you when we needed help setting up”. Or “I was 6 months pregnant working this event and instead of helping us you are attacking”. There were other things going through my mind but I shouldn’t write them here. All of our hard work and effort seemed wasted. Immediately I felt the pain of the harsh criticism of my husband. My husband wasn’t nearly as upset as I was. This woman continued to be a youth leader and I had to be around her. So I knew I had to deal with my anger.

Since then there have been many, many, many times I have been hurt either personally by someone or hurt at how my husband is being treated. Sometimes the pain lasts a long time and I need to let it go in order to move on and be used how God wants to use me. I wanted to ice this woman out. But I knew that was not what I should do.

So I tried turning the pain into thanks. Thank you God that this is keeping my husband and I humble. Thank you that it is drawing us nearer to you. Thank you that, even though I want to defend myself, I know you are my defense and I don’t have to even open my mouth. Thank you that you restore. Thank you that you can teach us and grow our character through this. Thank you.

I am responsible for me. I can let this be something that God uses to build my character or I can let this be something that slowly destroys me. Because it does destroy. It beats us down until we check out and we are no longer able to be used by God. We just try to survive.

So how would you handle this hurt? Is this something you have struggled with? Do you have a testimony on this? Good stories or bad. Please email them to me.

Know that you are not in this alone!