Threatening and Harassing News You can Use!
Dear Fellow Zionist-Haters and Antisemites,
1. If you’re planning to protest against Israel’s participation in the upcoming Eurovision Song Contest, it’s in Sweden May 7–11, and there will be extra security, but since you hate Israel and Jews, it’ll probably be fun despite the risk of water cannons and arrests.
2. Even though Hamas really does kill aid workers and steal food, don’t let that stop you from harassing Jews and rallying for the destruction of Israel — again, if the global jihadi movement learns of your strong support, they probably won’t murder you and your friends even if they find out that you’re gay, or feminist, or some other religion than the one they promote.
3. If you are one of many pro-terror protesters who assert, based on nothing whatsoever, that nothing happened on October 7, 2023, and even if it did, it was Israel’s fault, and also Hamas freedom fighters didn’t behead, mutilate, or rape scores of women, you might want to watch this video: Screams Before Silence Film.
4. If you are one of the protesters whose violent screams for the destruction of Israel, praise for blood-thirsty terrorists, and calls for the ethnic cleansing of Jews threaten the safety of Jewish students and cause the cancelling of graduation ceremonies, please check back in after terrorists take over the world. They’ll probably spare you despite your religion if you tell them that you protested. And if the world manages to get past this ridiculous phase of young Americans promoting terror over democracy, then I’d like to hear if you look back on these years with pride, or if you are embarrassed to have bought the propaganda fed to by Iran and its proxies.
5. If you are one of the people who continuously comment about the horrific death and suffering in Gaza, but have said/written nothing about any other suffering in the world, AND have done nothing except hang out at protests screaming and having a grand old time, which does little to help Gazans who had already been prisoners of Hamas, send medical supplies via one of many non-profits that do such things, hold a banner that says, “Death to Israel,” or “Final Solution,” or donate to causes that help refugees. Show them you care!
6. If you are one of the protesters who make students feel so unsafe on campus that they might transfer to Yeshiva University, Brandeis College, or one of Israel’s phenomenal universities, Kudos! But how mad will you be when they still end up being spectacularly successful despite your efforts to subvert them? Good work changing the meaning of Freedom of Speech to “Freedom to Threaten and Harass People because of their race or religion,” but you’ve got some work to do.
7. If your poster says, “From the River to the Sea,” you are advocating genocide of the Jews, but keep going. If you scream “Free Palestine,” loudly enough, it absolves Palestinians from having to compromise with the other ancient peoples that live in the land of Israel, but that’s not enough. And if you claim that Israel is a big, powerful nation and Palestinians are a tiny, powerless minority, don’t include the influence and money/support Hamas gets from Iran, the UAE, Yemen, Qatar, Sudan, Syria, Russia, North Korea, and China).
Stay the course, fellow Jew-haters and Antisemites! Don’t let reason or anything you read sway you from putting on scary makeup, joining protests, or carrying powerful signs that prove you are good at holding a sign. Don’t start worrying about where the Jews are going to go after Hamas kills most of them. Everyone knows that Jews are responsible for most of the world’s problems, but if you’re not sure why, you can read Adolph Hitler’s book about it. It’s even better in the original German!
