‘Adulting’ While Driving
How One Woman’s Daring Shaped My Adolescence
Do you remember “TripTiks?” I do. Before any long road trip, my mom and I would sit across the desk of our AAA agent and watch as he would skillfully highlight the major highways and freeways we could take in order to reach our destination. In hindsight, this process now seems pretty low tech. Just an oversized map, a highlighter, a thin blue line representing the road, and a few additional regional maps. After a quick car inspection and tire rotation, we were on our way with nothing more than some bound sheets of paper, a cooler full of snacks and our wits!
There was no GPS. There were no car phones or cell phones to speak of. Back then, relatives waited with bated breath by the phone, praying that you reached your destination safely. After you fill your tank with gas, you might assuage their worries with a quick call from a pay phone, and then you were off again! The asphalt beneath you, open roads, blue skies with perhaps the slightest hint of danger in the air.
As an observant child of divorced parents, I noticed how differently my mom and dad approached driving. My dad was predictable, responsible. He always drove the same route and never varied. But driving with my mom might lead to a spontaneous adventure! Often while driving she would say, (and still does til this day), “I wonder where this road will take us?” She’d muse aloud, her machinations well under way. “I wonder if we take this back road…if it’ll let us out on that other street…down by that other road.” Then, she turned to me, her co-conspirator and ask, “Hmm… what do you think?” And without skipping a beat, she would promptly switch lanes and veer off towards directions unknown.
Looking back, I’m sure these impromptu trips inpsired my own sense of wonder. Her keen adventures weren’t just limited to the road though. Her actions taught me to not fear the unknown, particularly with food. Our local farmer’s market was her Nirvana! As a kid growing up in the South, our dinner menu made me the “weird one” among my friends. In my house, we ate “strange” foods like spanakopita and baklava, thai dishes, stirfrys and quiche. I remember once we stood in the grocery store, in the aisle of sugary sweets, with a box of Rainbow Vanilla Wafers before us. This product was brand new at the time. My mom playfully turned to me and said, “That looks disgusting… let’s try it!” with a huge grin on her face. So into the buggy the cookies went.
Together, mom and I have driven up the steep hills of San Francisco; through the rustic farms in Connecticut, down the picturesque East coast, across the Delta and back. And even while traversing places unknown, I’ve watched her apply this same philosophy of wonder. I recall once while in the desert, I saw my mom study a map over lunch, then casually say, “let’s take this backroad instead. I think this is where your uncle got those cool kaleidoscopes in Arizona.” Or, she’d ask if I wanted to see one landmark versus another. Then we would deviate from our AAA TripTik and explore. And there was never a moment when I was scared. Never a time when we veered off course that I felt lost or overwhelmed. Instead, to my surprise, I spent nights driving in the cool desert, under a blanket of luminous stars, never realizing just how many were hanging above me. I hope everyone has the opportunity to visit a place so desolate, you can see a million stars in the sky! Til this day, it’s one of my fondest road trip memories!
The most valuable lesson my mom’s daring taught me is that “lost” is simply a state of mind. Life is unpredictable! Let’s face it; when you travel inevitably there will be moments when you have no clue where you are! But there is a choice. You can freak out or keep your cool; you can succumb to the fear and the panic; you can curse your GPS and lash out at others; grow frustrated and scream, “I don’t know where I am!” Or, you could choose differently. You can take a breath, lean into your own sense of adventure, then say “I wonder where this road will take me?”
A few years ago, my mom came to visit New York City. We spent one morning in Chinatown inhaling all of the sights and sounds it had to offer. We sampled fruits and teas. We saw amazing livestock and marveled at all that was for sale. That was the first time we ever tried dragon fruit. With its bright magenta skin and semi-sweet flavor, it’s now become one of our favorites!
These road trips gave me the invaluable skills of patience and aplomb. I learned when you travel with a sense of calm and curiosity, that you’re never truly lost. I learned to lean into the journey instead of the fear. When you do, your senses heighten and the road reveals itself to you. You’ll notice the signs selling boiled peanuts and watermelon, or fire crackers and bbq throughout the South. You’ll appreciate how the trees change shape and color — and how rolling fields of gold turn into barren landscapes. You’ll sense how vast and wide the Mississippi River is and feel every dizzying turn of Highway 101. You won’t forget the pungent aroma of broccoli fields, or be all the more grateful when you finally breathe fresh air again! It’s all a journey, but the difference between an adventure and catastrophe is your perspective.
