Advice on Marrying a Persian Woman

*Piece co-written by guest writer, Lincoln Daw. Illustrations by his not-quite Persian wife.*

Congratulations, you’ve married a Persian. You really couldn’t have done any better for yourself. Give yourself a pat on the back, take a deep breath. Do you feel the excitement? But don’t relax, never relax, this spouse of yours is going to keep you on your toes all the time.

Things are going to change for you, irrevocably, and you might initially be weirded out by how things are done in a Persian household. Chill. Just keep an open-mind and you will come to understand and embrace the unique customs of the life you are now living.

Here are four things to keep in mind when you move in with a Persian. Follow them closely and your union will be more blissful.

1) Embrace the sweet. But more so, the sour.

Persians love sour foods, and from their perspective there’s no better way to enliven an insipid dish than with an infusion of sourness. Breakfast eggs, roasted almonds, and even spaghetti bolognaise (waiting to hear some feedback from the Italians on this one) will all get treated to a squeeze of lime.

To ensure there’s always a lime within arms reach, they will be distributed all over the kitchen and beyond. Two lay on an…