Alright Then
Texas hath frozen over
Jon saw something stirring in the backyard outside the window. Recent weather included snow, freezing rain, sleet, and several days of single-digit temperatures. The power was out, the pipes were frozen, and inside the house he could see his breath. He pushed himself off the couch, took his Thermos of coffee and moseyed to the back porch. He was already wearing a coat.
In the middle of his back lawn, which was a solid sheet of frozen snow, a crater formed. Then, an alabaster claw, coated in fur with long yellow nails, burst free from the hole. A monster climbed out, its shaggy exterior matching the snow. It had long, gangly limbs and a broad chest, and stood at Jon’s height. Its mouth was crowded with icicle-like teeth, and had red eyes that steamed in the frozen air. The beast panted excitedly as it seemed to size up Jon as its next meal.
Jon heard distant screams, some gun shots, and assumed neighbors were getting similar visitors. But he just leaned against a porch rail and nodded.
“Morning,” he said, and took a drink of coffee.
The creature seemed confused. It looked left then right, seeming to check if it was about to be ambushed. But the two were alone in the backyard.
“It’s been a hell of a year or two,” Jon continued. “Now that Texas has frozen over, well, I guess I’m done being surprised by anything anymore.”
The beast suddenly screeched, leapt up and landed at the edge of the porch. It stood face to face with Jon, a foot apart. Jon could feel the hot breath of the creature as it glared at him with death in its eyes. The breath didn’t smell great either.
“Look,” Jon said. “Do what you gotta do. Or you can come inside where it’s a few degrees warmer. I busted up an oak table that’s currently burning in the fireplace. The coffee’s still pretty warm too.”
The creature seemed to consider this. Though it didn’t understand what Jon was saying, it grokked his feelings about the whole situation. There would be no fight, no begging, no shrieks of terror. Jon was just over it.
Its shoulders slumped with disappointment and it half-heartedly waved Jon off with a claw as it turned to leave.
“Alright then,” Jon said.
It looked towards the sound of a bloody scream nearby and leapt high in the air in that direction.
