Conversation with My Wife (111)
Birds of a feather, and so on
So we’re driving along together to work, as we do. A flock of geese in flight crosses ahead of us, maintaining altitude maybe a hundred feet up.
DEB: Ah, somebody decided the flock needs to practice. They’re taking the adolescents up to work on formation flying.
ME: Well, they seem to be… oh dear!
The flock has turned right. The formation, which previously could be described as “V-like” or “V-ish” rather than “V-shaped,” has disintegrated into a muddle. One poor bird has continued on, apparently unaware that his fellows have changed direction.
ME: Charlie? Charlie? Everybody’s turning right Charlie, so we need to — oh, Charrrrlie!
(No idea why I picked Charlie as a name. No disrespect intended to any Charlie persons who might be reading.)
DEB: It’s okay, he’s noticed, he’s — oh dear, they’re landing.
Charlie overshoots the landing zone, seems confused, comes back around, and does not seem to land on anyone in the field or run into any fence or tree, so: #nailedthelanding. Alas, Charlie does not understand the reason for landing, and decides it’s time for breakfast. As the flock goes airborne again.
DEB: Charlie! This is not a meal break! You need to pay attention! It’s okay, Myrtle’s with him. (another goose is in the field in “guard” mode)
ME: Myrtle?
DEB: Geese mate for life, so of course Myrtle would be the only one who would stick with Charlie.
Charlie has noticed that although he’s out standing in his field, he’s not winning any awards, so he and Myrtle head after the flock.
ME: They say that the reason for the V-formation is that it makes flying easier for everyone in formation except the leader. So the flock takes turns leading a formation.
DEB: Which will be disaster when it’s Charlie’s turn. They also say the reason for honking while flying is to encourage the leader —
ME: But in Charlie’s case it will be more like, “Charlie! We’re going east, Charlie! East! Toward the sun! Big thing in the sky! Really bright! Charrrrlieeee!”
We like to amuse ourselves. So we make up stuff as we drive along. And if you see us in a restaurant, we may be spinning stories about why you’re doing what you’re doing.
Copyright ©2018 by Jack Herlocker. All rights reserved, including the right to make up slanderous tales about you and not share them.
