Conversation with My Wife (116)
NPR Hell: Every week is pledge week, and the station manager lost her index cards so she’s just winging the support requests
So we’re driving into work together, listening to NPR, and our local station plays a brief announcement encouraging their listeners to remember our local public radio station in our wills.
DEB: That makes no sense. How are we going to listen after we’re dead?
ME: Speakers in the coffin. You can be listening perpetually.
DEB: They need power, right? So you run a power cord over to your grave, and the grounds crew runs over it with the lawnmower —
ME: No no! Solar panels! Solar panels on the gravestone! Run the cord down and you’re good to go. Forever!
Silence as we digest this plan.
DEB: Okay, but trees —
ME: No trees. Trees are not our friend in this case. Also, make sure the grave site faces south. And you’ll want battery backup for the night time shows.
DEB: (who knows me all too well) You can’t put this in a Conversation, it’s too weird.
ME: It’s almost Halloween! There’s weird stuff all over Medium right now!
DEB: As opposed to…?
ME: I mean, like, Halloween weird. Graves. Ghosts. Stuff like that.
Although, come to think of it, I’ve already done a ghost story for this month.
ME: Or are you thinking of my family? They never read my stuff anyway.
DEB: I know, your family is the last group I worry about. I’m just thinking some people will find it strange, with Mom¹ and all.
Well… yes. But my Medium peeps are used to me being odd. They clap for me anyway. Or at least mean to, when the claps are working. <sigh>
¹My mother passed away October 13. Well, her body died, her mind left us a long time ago. So you know how some people say, “In a way, it was a relief”? Yes, seriously, it was a relief.
Copyright © 2018 by Jack Herlocker. All rights reserved, including the right to remain silent as the grave. So to speak.
