Conversation with My Wife (137)
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Riding home together with my wife after work.
DEB: So! What is this “coyote administrative assistant” job you hinted at in your email?
Deb has turned in her paperwork to start the process of retirement from her current university job, beginning in January 2020. We both view “retirement” as “working fewer days rather than none, not because we need the money but because we need a reason to get out of bed at a particular time during weekdays, although we won’t turn down the money thank you,” so Deb is also thinking on part-time jobs. I then informed my current company that I plan to switch to a three-day week in 2020, with background as to why. Which prompted some interesting discussions with my coworkers.
ME: Okay, remember how [my boss] was curious if you’d be interesting in working at [my company] after you retired? Well, it turns out that job might be with [senior v.p.] as her admin.
DEB: That’s not a good job?
ME: Well, Chaz¹ came back from helping out [senior v.p.] with a quick computer question. Which ended up taking almost twenty minutes, not because the computer problem was hard, but because she wanted to chat. So after he escaped, Chaz shared that [senior v.p.] really needs a replacement admin she can talk to, rather than torture random staff. And that’s how I found that the previous admin didn’t so much get promoted as escaped to working at a desk well away from [senior v.p.’s] office. And the one before her, who was an old friend of [senior v.p.] from an earlier company, decided she could stay friends or keep working for [senior v.p.], but not both. And the one before her quit because [senior v.p.] drove him crazy because she was chatting all the time. That’s when I told Chaz and the guys that you might come work for [senior v.p.] after you retired.
DEB: And they thought it would be a bad idea?
ME: Well, the initial reaction was, “OMG, how could you do that to someone you love?” But then they thought about it. Chaz pointed out that you work in a university, where everybody likes to talk anyway, so if there was anyone coming into the job who could handle a talker, it would be you.
DEB: He has a point. A big part of my job is just letting people talk. Sometimes I learn things, sometimes they get a chance to vent, sometimes they are nice people who are just long-winded. Although sometimes it’s half an hour of my life I will never get back.
ME: So still a possibility?
DEB: Still a possibility.² But how is this a “coyote admin” job?
ME: Like the coyote that chews its leg off to get out of the trap? Which apparently other people have done?
DEB: Okay. I thought maybe I would be wandering around the company rooting through garbage and finding random jobs or something. This sounds more interesting.
PLEASE NOTE: Deb’s retirement has not been announced officially yet, so don’t tell anyone at [REDACTED] that you heard about it. No worries about them finding this online, unless I mention [REDACTED] or [REDACTED], so please be cool and don’t mention that in Responses, okay? Thanks!
¹IT coworker.
²This would also let us commute back and forth together, a forty-minute drive. We enjoy that. We really just enjoy the hell out of each other’s company, it turns out.
Copyright ©2019 by Jack Herlocker. All rights reserved, including sending a rabid coyote after you if you mention [REDACTED].
