Conversation with My Wife (144)
Those Herlocker women!
My ex-wife, Linda, and her significant other, Carol, are vacationing in Italy, dining and hitting tourist spots and out-of-the-way places. Much of it on foot, which would be fine, except Linda managed to break her ankle a few weeks before they left. So she’s tripping around the Boot in a boot.
ME: Have you seen their photos of some of these villages? They’re all slopes and staircases! I can’t imagine how Linda is holding up¹.
DEB: It’s a thing with Herlocker women, honey. We break a foot, we break an ankle, whatever, we keep going rather than disappoint our family.
The legend and example of my mother: back in 1985 she, my sister, and I went to the UK on a family vacation. While sightseeing in London on a “hop on/hop off” bus, my mother misjudged the “hop off” part and messed up her foot. On returning to the States, x-rays determines she has broken it. During the vacation, walking around London? “It’s a little sore. Maybe I can put some ice on it when we get back to the hotel.”
DEB: Just so you know, Jackster, if that ever happens to me, we are renting a wheelchair!
So she says. And yet, I suspect, if we have an expectant grand-niece in tow, and she gives Deb the “PLEEEEEASE Aunt Debbie?!” eye-treatment, the ghost of her mother-in-law will manifest.
AUNT DEB: It’s a long way, sweetie, want to take a cab?… Okay, you’re right, the shop windows are very pretty, we can walk and look at them.
¹Recently posted by Linda: her activity app with the log for the day and disappointment that she didn’t break 10,000 steps. Because 9,799 steps, hobbled in a boot, shows she’s just being leisurely. 🙄 Nope, not competitive, my ex, not at all. Love her dearly, and, more importantly, she’s Carol’s problem now! 😁
Copyright ©2019 by Jack Herlocker. All rights reserved, including the right to be a Herlocker man and rent the damn wheelchair!