Conversation with My Wife (146)
On the other hand… you have different fingers…
Okay, for those of you joining us late, my wife and I like to leaf through catalogs in the morning over breakfast. Sometimes we share tidbits.
ME: “Sometimes I wonder, ‘Why is this frisbee getting bigger?’ Then it hits me.”
DEB: Usually I duck. “Hot flashes are God’s way of warning us about Hell.” No, Hell might be cooler!
ME: “When’s the right time to tell your dog they’re adopted?” So… that’s why they don’t look like the other kids?
DEB: “When I look up in the sky, I have no idea which cloud holds all my data.” Is that important, Jackster?
ME: Not as often as you’d think. “To err is human, to ARRR! is pirate.” I could so do an eye patch.
DEB: Not while you’re driving, honey. “1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance THE FIVE STAGES OF WAKING UP.” Or going to work, most mornings.
ME: They have bacon-flavored candy canes, and pickle-flavored candy canes. That look like regular candy canes. This is why kids grow up with trust issues.
DEB: “Remember, if Plan A fails, there are 25 letters left.” Back at work again…
ME: (showing picture of t-shirt covered with books) “I have no shelf control.” Pretty much describes our house.
DEB: Still at work: “Some things are better left unsaid. But I’m probably going to say them anyway.” And as I get closer to retirement…
ME: Or this? “Thou shalt not get on my nerves! Mood 24:7”
DEB: “Being an adult is the dumbest thing I have ever done.” No comment.
ME: Isn’t “no comment” a comment? Just asking. Here, you marked: “Best smartass daughter EVER!” Is this for you, or my sister, or…
DEB: Still no comment. “My spirit animal has rabies.” Well, that explains a lot!
ME: Last one, for you: “SARCASM — It’s how I hug.”
DEB: And that would not apply to you because… Nope, here we go: “If a clown farts, does it smell funny?”
ME: Always, honey!
Wait, there’s more!
Copyright ©2019 by Jack Herlocker, although seriously, I ripped off 95% of this so, who am I trying to kid?
