The Junction
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The Junction

Conversation with My Wife (157)

Normal. Even our dryer doesn’t have that setting.

Part of my button collection, which I started as a Navy lieutenant when a petty officer I worked with knew this neat lady who made them. I would stick them on the walls of my cube at my various workplaces through the next thirty-five years. One of my bosses described the collection as the “Jack Herlocker philosophy of life.” I don’t have a cube at home, so I have no place to stick them, so I left them all for coworkers to take on the day I retired.

One of my virtual nieces¹, Agnes Louis, posted another wonderful piece:

In it, she talks about being trapped under a too-small umbrella during a sudden thunderstorm with her significant other:

For eight minutes, we stood still in one spot. Occasionally gazing into each other’s eyes, throwing random silly smiles and kissing like two teenagers whose parents are out of town.

That’s a very wonderful moment to share with someone. That special someone. That someone we could live without, but don’t have to, and never want to.

Even when they get goofy sometimes.

ME: I promise you, I will never leave you.

DEB: (wide-eyed and staring) Sooooo… that means I’m the one who needs to get the chocolate now?

I should mention that our usual evening pattern is to eat supper while we watch an episode of whatever we’re binging on, then I go get some sugar-free chocolate for dessert while we pause between episodes. We were watching The Rookie off of Apple TV+, and one of the characters promised another one he would never leave her, so I of course felt the need to make the same promise at the end of the episode. To which a normal person would say, “Awww, thank you, honey!”

ME: Ahhh…

DEB: (in her best imitation-clueless mode) Three pieces? It’s three pieces of chocolate, right? You’re always the one who gets it, so I’m never sure. And how do you choose? Is there a system, or is it more an impulse thing, or —

At this point I am doing my SSWL² thing that amuses my wife so much, who gives me a kiss and then imitates me having body spasms.

DEB: Do you wish you’d married someone normal, honey?

ME: Oh no, Debster, I’d much rather have you!

¹We have no kids, but we have wonderful nieces and nephews, real and virtual and occasionally casual; one of us, especially, gets into Aunt Debbie mode with very little prompting. Me, I have some younger [“younger” = younger than me, which I realize is almost everyone these days… thanks for pointing that out, always appreciated 🙄] writers on Medium for whom I have an avuncular fondness: Agnes Louis, BFoundAPen, Ellie Guzman, Dr. Furaha Asani.
Oh, and what kind of uncle would I be if I didn’t put in a plug or two?

²Silently Shaking With Laughter. It’s something I do. Don’t judge. I mean you can, but Deb beat you to it.



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Jack Herlocker

Jack Herlocker


Husband & retiree. Developer, tech writer, & IT geek. I fill what’s empty, empty what’s full, and scratch where it itches. Occasionally do weird & goofy things.