Conversation with My Wife (164)
Odd chats while staying at home during COVID-19
Roz Warren has a story about online dating:
Online dating — or at least the people she came across while trying it — did not come off well. And Deb and I have remarked previously on the horror show that dating is these days (even before the Trump Pandemic).
ME: If one of us dies before the other one does, the survivor does NOT have to find someone else. Right?
DEB: Sure. What brought this on? Are you feeling feverish? (feels her forehead) Am I feeling feverish? Is there anything you need to tell me?
I fill her in on Roz’s story.
DEB: Oh! No, we wouldn’t be any good at it, anyway. Well, neither of us was any good in the 20th Century, I don’t think we’ve improved.
ME: Although you did personal ads.
DEB: No. What I did was, I would read the Sunday personal ads to Mom & Dad when I visited, picking out the funniest or strangest ones. But I never actually answered one of them. I was just being sarcastic.
ME: I thought Mom would bring you the Sunday personals from their paper?
DEB: Because my mother was a wonderful woman who loved me, wanted me to be happy, and was often not good on picking up sarcasm. But you found two wonderful women to marry, why don’t you think you’d be lucky again?
ME: For one thing, I started hanging with Linda before we started dating, and I started hanging with you before I even knew you were available. My feeble attempts at dating anyone I didn’t already know went very, very badly.
DEB: Anyway, if I can’t have you, 🎵 I don’t want nobody baby, if I can’t have you, woh-oh-oh! 🎵 (breaks into laughter)
ME: Um, sure. One of the things we agreed on when we started talking marriage was that we were okay on our own, so we didn’t have to get married, we just wanted to. I don’t think I’d be okay if I lost you now.
DEB: Me neither, Jackster! (smooch) So let’s keep each other around, okay?
ME: Okay!
DEB: (feeling her forehead) I don’t feel warm to you, do I? You’d tell me, right?
Copyright ©2020 by Jack Herlocker. All rights reserved, and no, I do NOT want to be introduced to your cute cousin!
