Conversation with My Wife (185)
Leaping to conclusions is not real exercise! (Right?)
I see Deb standing by the kitchen window after we’re done exercising but before breakfast, and she is clearly pondering.¹
ME: Whatcha thinkin’ ‘bout, Debster?
DEB: Trying to figure out how exercise will happen after I go back to work.
Deb is not actually coming out of retirement or anything. This is a part-time job with a local tax firm who needs additional capable bodies in February, March, and April. Deb worked for them last year, right after she took retirement from her university job.² It was cut short by the start of the Trump Pandemic lockdown in PA in March, but they let her know they would want her back in 2021. And last month, they followed up to make sure she will be available! She starts the first week in February.
Since we retired, we have been exercising daily, aided (I think that’s the word I want) by our fitness trackers. I have an Apple watch, Deb has a Fitbit. I have lost ≅10 pounds, Deb is more like 35–40 pounds; both of us have toned up and have better stamina while hiking local nature trails.
DEB: Okay, I don’t want to wake up before dawn to exercise. But I don’t want to lose all the progress I’ve made. But I don’t want to mess up your routine, Jackster.
ME: See, I can just go back to exercising after you leave for work. So why don’t you do what you want and works best for you, whether that’s treadmill or video workouts or some of both, and I can do my thing around you. I can even just pause whatever Exercise+³ thing I’m on, eat breakfast with you, and resume after you leave.
DEB: (after reflecting) Okay, let’s try that.
When I was working, I was getting up between 05:15 and 05:30 to exercise; we slept in on the weekends, which meant we both got up around 07:00. In retirement, every day is the weekend, which has been nice, but we’re going to try rolling out around 06:15 and see how that goes.
Exercise to Deb is a way to keep her weight down and her cardio up. For me, I originally was focused on keeping my overall blood sugars down to stay off insulin; now I’m also worried about impending dementia⁴, so I’ve stepped up the game.
ME: And I’ll make sure to have a bag lunch for you to take along to work, and I promise that supper will be ready when you get home!
DEB: You spoil me! And what do I do for you?
ME: Earn most of the money coming into the household, either state pension, Social Security, or part-time work?
Plus I like being a househusband.⁵
¹Because we learn to recognize that look in our significant others, right? Sometimes it means something interesting is going on in their brain, sometimes it means something useful will be revealed, sometimes it means we are about to be involved in something not totally pleasant. The point is, we need to determine into which category the thinking falls, sooner being better than later.
²Executive Administrator to the President [said the proud husband]
³Apple rolled out something called Exercise+, which are streaming video workouts (shown on Apple TV or an iPhone or an iPad) that tie into the Apple Watch so that the participants can see on the screen what their current heart rate, calorie count, and other pertinent progress is doing. Surprisingly effective, at least for me. Also: just because a particular core workout instructor is a “little old lady” who must be in her late 60s doesn’t mean she can’t hold a plank position for two minutes while taking one arm off the ground to stretch up while talking the whole time and not getting out of breath. Also: after one tech reviewer downplayed the yoga workouts as being too “meditation and mindfulness rather a real workout” for her, I figured I’d give one a try. O! M! G! If those are examples of wimpy exercises, I don’t ever want to try “real” yoga. (Erika Burkhalter and Ann Litts and other ninja yoga folks, feel free to say “I could have warned you!” or whatever. Please keep the LOLs to quiet chuckles. Thank you.)
⁴Both my late parents had dementia. They also both exercised. Still, people who study this thing say it’s worth it, so I’m keeping at it.
⁵The original plan for my first marriage involved Linda staying in the Navy while I started an IT consulting business (or something) and took care of the (notional) kids at home. [Yes, I know now that one can take care of little kids OR do anything else requiring time and attention, but not both at once. We were young. Hush.] I actually spent more time as a houseEXhusband, since Linda let me live in their spare bedroom while I looked for work. Which ended up taking nine months during the 1990/1991 recession. So I mailed résumés, wrote computer programs and software manuals, did the laundry, kept the apartment clean and the cats pampered, and had dinner on the table when Linda and Tish (the woman she dumped me for) got home.
Copyright ©2021 by Jack Herlocker. All rights reserved, including the right to practice some ninja warrior yoga on your ass if you steal this. Actually, I might just see if Erika or Ann are available for wet work, but still!
