Conversation with My Wife (208)

“In my own defense, I was left unsupervised”

Hey, did you know that you can buy hair color products that just spray on?¹ No more holding your head in the sink, or paying “I’m sorry, I don’t have that much on me, is there an ATM nearby?” at a salon for spot treatment? Apparently anybody can just walk in and get this stuff at Target.

I have the receipts to prove it.

ME: So, how bad is the damage?

DEB: You mean, what wonderful things did I do to my hair? Check it out:

If you’re thinking, “That looks like it was applied by a six-year-old!”, you would be correct. (photo by author)

ME: So you just colored each other’s hair and the dog’s and—

DEB: We did not have permission to touch the dog. But I got the all-clear to do Mikaela’s hair. She helped pick out the colors.

Mikaela, our great-niece, age six, had a four-day Labor Day weekend from school, starting on Friday. Her parents and grandmother did not, so good ol’ Aunt Debbie stuck up her hand and kept Mikaela amused all day.

DEB: I don’t think these colors turned out really well on me. Most of my hair is too dark.

ME: You’re always complaining that you have too much salt in your salt-&-pepper hair.

DEB: I have too much black to color it right and I have too much gray to not color it. Why is that so hard to understand?

ME: Sooo… you’re going back tomorrow. How do you plan to explain the hair to people who haven’t seen it before?

DEB: In my own defense, I was left unsupervised.

And it could have been worse:

This is Mikaela. Purple, pink, coral, and silver. I think this photo would be great to show at her bridal shower, wedding, or other occasion where she has the maximum number of friends to see it. (photo by Deb)

¹Yes, Ann Litts, I’m sure you do, but you’re a bit more savvy than the average bear, after all.

Copyright ©2021 by Jack Herlocker. Rip this off, and we’ll use the leftover hair color on YOU.

Conversations with My Wife (collection)