The Junction
Published in

The Junction

Conversation with My Wife (208)

“In my own defense, I was left unsupervised”

Hey, did you know that you can buy hair color products that just spray on?¹ No more holding your head in the sink, or paying “I’m sorry, I don’t have that much on me, is there an ATM nearby?” at a salon for spot treatment? Apparently anybody can just walk in and get this stuff at Target.

I have the receipts to prove it.

ME: So, how bad is the damage?

DEB: You mean, what wonderful things did I do to my hair? Check it out:

If you’re thinking, “That looks like it was applied by a six-year-old!”, you would be correct. (photo by author)

ME: So you just colored each other’s hair and the dog’s and—

DEB: We did not have permission to touch the dog. But I got the all-clear to do Mikaela’s hair. She helped pick out the colors.

Mikaela, our great-niece, age six, had a four-day Labor Day weekend from school, starting on Friday. Her parents and grandmother did not, so good ol’ Aunt Debbie stuck up her hand and kept Mikaela amused all day.

DEB: I don’t think these colors turned out really well on me. Most of my hair is too dark.

ME: You’re always complaining that you have too much salt in your salt-&-pepper hair.

DEB: I have too much black to color it right and I have too much gray to not color it. Why is that so hard to understand?

ME: Sooo… you’re going back tomorrow. How do you plan to explain the hair to people who haven’t seen it before?

DEB: In my own defense, I was left unsupervised.

And it could have been worse:

This is Mikaela. Purple, pink, coral, and silver. I think this photo would be great to show at her bridal shower, wedding, or other occasion where she has the maximum number of friends to see it. (photo by Deb)

¹Yes, Ann Litts, I’m sure you do, but you’re a bit more savvy than the average bear, after all.

Copyright ©2021 by Jack Herlocker. Rip this off, and we’ll use the leftover hair color on YOU.




The Junction is a digital crossroads devoted to stories, culture, and ideas. Our interests are legion.

Recommended from Medium

10 Signs Your Body Has Too Much Estrogen And How To Start Flushing it Out Immediately

Banano President

Two Not Particularly Hilarious Poems About My Ego and, Maybe, Yerz . . .

It’s Finally Time We Talk About How Pumpkins Can Feel Us Carve Them

Chicken Umbrella

My Little Garden in Week 6 of Lockdown

The pack is growing!

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Jack Herlocker

Jack Herlocker

Husband & retiree. Developer, tech writer, & IT geek. I fill what’s empty, empty what’s full, and scratch where it itches. Occasionally do weird & goofy things.

More from Medium

Conversation with My Wife (221)

A True Friend Will Always Keep Yer Secrets

Jenny Mundy-Castle On How Fiction Informs Her Memoir Writing