Conversation with My Wife (52)

“My bags are packed / I’m ready to go…”

Jack Herlocker
Jul 24, 2017 · 2 min read
My wife, packing for a week in Illinois in 2016, about to head on to the plane with a carry-on and a backpack/purse. She wanted me to take a photo and post it on Facebook specifically so my ex-wife would see it and be impressed.*

My wife and I like to travel. Together. It’s one of our favorite things. We know each other’s likes and foibles, we’ve standardized on who gets the hotel bathroom when, we remember what the other forgot to pack last time and remind them. We have learned the warning signs for when someone needs a meal (or a snack, at least) RIGHT NOW! We’ve gotten good at pointing out things the other is interested in when riding or touring. We enjoy the hell out of each other’s company.

But every couple has that First Trip Together… In this case, flying to Illinois so Deb could meet my family.

ME: (looking at the bags [plural] that Deb has packed for the weekend [singular] trip) Wow!

DEB: What?

ME: It just seems like a lot.

DEB: Oh?**

ME: (without a thought in my head, because I had not been in a relationship in years and I was a total frakin’ moron) Yeah, Linda*** never used to pack that much.

DEB: Ohhhh

The light dims in the room, as if the sun had suddenly gone behind a cloud. Frost starts to form around the edges of… everything, really. And then Deb smiles.

DEB: Well, Jackster, some women pack differently from others.

And that was that.

HA! In my dreams.

That was eighteen years ago, almost. Ever since, when I comment (positively! I swear!) on her packing, I get a response like, “But not as good as <sigh> Linda, I bet.” With this sad little face like her puppy just died.

And when Deb met Linda, what story did Deb tell but how I compared packing styles. Linda’s reaction was to turn to me and exclaim, “YOU DID NOT!” Like it was all my fault, somehow.


*And she was:

**In a totally innocent voice, I swear, otherwise I might have picked up the warning tone. Although maybe not, because on reflection it took me a few years.

***My first wife. Wonderful woman. Learned to pack in the Navy. Turns out this is not how normal civilian women pack. In my own defense, no one had explained that part to me before.

The Junction

The Junction is a digital crossroads devoted to stories, culture, and ideas. Our interests are legion.

Jack Herlocker

Written by

Husband & developer, tech writer & IT geek. I fill what’s empty, empty what’s full, and scratch where it itches. Occasionally do weird & goofy things.

The Junction

The Junction is a digital crossroads devoted to stories, culture, and ideas. Our interests are legion.

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