Conversation with My Wife (64)
Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me…
ME: Why do we have a turtle sitting on our window sill? I know you’ve told me, but I forget.
DEB: That’s the Kinky Turtle.
ME: …
DEB: Like in the hymn.
ME: (still) … (only now with a puzzled expression)
DEB: Okay, when I worked in the Lancaster Tourist Industry* as a teenager, I had a Mennonite boss. And one day she came in and told me her daughter, who I guess was maybe four at the time, was playing by herself and singing, “Lead on, oh kinky turtle!” Instead of, “Lead on, oh king eternal!” which is the actual hymn. So I tell my parents, and Dad** is just delighted. And that Christmas, I got the Kinky Turtle for an ornament. Who is now on our window sill.
ME: I remember strange hymns you and Dad told me about, but I don’t remember the kinky turtle one.
DEB: Yeah, we had “Gladly, the Cross-Eyed Bear,” which is “Gladly, the Cross I’d Bear”; the “Yoo Hoo” song — “You who unto Jesus for refuge have fled”; and, of course, the Andy song. (sings) Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am his own.***
ME: This was like a running thing with you two.
DEB: When I was in choir during a service at Middle Octorara, or even years later at First Church when I was in the pews, when one of those songs started he would turn or lean slowly so that he could catch my eye, give me an evil grin, and then slowly go back to where he‘d been. He always made me laugh.
ME: See, we didn’t have stuff like that in the Episcopal church. We just had songs that didn’t make sense. At least not until I got older.
DEB: (afraid to ask) Such as?
ME: That Thanksgiving song? That starts, “We gather together”? There’s the line, “Sing praises to His name, He forgets not His own.” And I thought that was stupid. I mean, it’s God, right? Why would he forget his own name? I mean, poof, and he has a name tag, and all he has to do is look down, right? But then I figured it out later in Sunday school. Remember Exodus, when Moses meets God in the burning bush, and Moses asks God for his name? And what does God say?
DEB: “I AM.”
ME: Exactly! First time God gets asked for his name, BOOM! He forgets it.
DEB: This is why we don’t let you teach Sunday school, honey.
ME: Although sure, he’s meeting Moses for the first time. I can see why God would be nervous. Still, maybe this is why God made name tags? Just sayin’.****
*I don’t know if it’s actually capitalized, but Deb always speaks as if it is.
**Deb’s late father was a Presbyterian minister at Middle Octorara Presbyterian Church (“Middle Octorara”) in Quarryville, PA. Even after he retired, he looked for ways to stay active, and joined the staff of the First United Methodist Church of Lancaster (“First Church”), where he was the visitation pastor for many years. Yes, he switched church denominations, kind of, but apparently the differences between the Presbyterians and the Methodists were the sort that mattered only to those denominations, at least from an ex-Episcopalian’s point of view.
***For those who are unschooled in hymns:
****Hey! You know those blank names tags that just say, “I AM,” and you’re supposed to fill a name? Maybe God made those to just have ready ones available that didn’t need filling out. Sure, it’s a little lazy, but kinda clever, too, amiright?
