Conversation with My Wife (87)
More fun in bed with the over-60 couple*
Snuggling together after getting into bed, as is our custom.
DEB: Ohhhhhh, you’re nice and warm! (snuggles closer)
This is not always the case:
ME: My hands are cold. I’ll keep one on your nightshirt and put the other under me to warm up. Okay, I’m laying my hand on your shirt, don’t tense up!
No reaction! Good. Sometimes my hands are cold enough to go right through thick cotton.
DEB: I think mine may be cold. (places piece of dry ice on my leg**)
ME: (incoherent strangled noise as most of my body muscles tense up and my leg muscles spasm into oak)
DEB: Oh, sorry, honey! (starts giggling) Don’t tense up!
ME: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! WHY WOULD YOU BRING ICE CUBES*** INTO BED WITH YOU?!
DEB: (giggles) I am REALLY sorry! (continues to giggle)
ME: You can’t apologize and laugh at the same time!
DEB: Sure I can! (voice sounds like she’s trying to speak and hold her breath at the same time) Sorry, honey! (giggles)
*Apologies in advance to Roy and Sherry. There’s heavy breathing, but it’s more of the almost-heart-attack variety.
**Maybe not. But that was my initial assessment.
***I had backed down from my initial harsh assessment in the intervening milliseconds. Also, all I could come up with as a name for dry ice was “really cold hard stuff they use to ship things,” which loses a lot, rhetorically.
