Crushed
I don’t remember the first day I saw her. I don’t know where she had moved from. I do know it happened when I was in the second grade. The first love of my life had moved to Morgantown and enrolled in the same school as me. I can still remember what she looked like. Gorgeous reddish-brown hair. A sprinkling of freckles, mainly on her nose. She was only a little bit shorter than me. Thin. Even her name, Harmony, was exotic and sweet. She was a second grade supermodel.
I don’t remember how we actually became friends. I think one day when it was time for recess, it was raining outside. My best friend and this girl Harmony were playing a card game. When it was my turn I fumbled through my cards searching for the right one. My hands were too small and my cards flew everywhere. She helped me pick them up. She showed me how to arrange them so I could manage them without trouble. As she leaned near me I could smell her nice clean girlie smell. It was at that moment that the birds suddenly appeared. Unknowingly, I was sinking into my first crush.
I don’t remember why there always seemed to be a rivalry on the playground. A boy named Brian was also new that year. My best friend and I deemed him to be a threat. On top of that, he constantly pestered Harmony and chased her around. In our view, he had signed his own death certificate. Because we always protected her, she began to hang around with us a lot. I was oblivious to the fact that my best friend also had a crush on her.
I don’t remember where my best friend sat after the teacher rearranged the desks. I remember that I sat right beside my crush. I wanted to tell her how I felt, but it was like speaking a foreign language. I didn’t know how I felt. Day after day we laughed and played and flirted. Can second graders flirt? Maybe. Yes.
I don’t remember my complete range of emotions when I saw Harmony and my best friend holding hands. Sadness, rage, depression, anxiety…doubt? I knew my eyes weren’t deceiving me and I was sure that my heart was not. Harmony and I definitely had some kind of connection.
I do remember the party on the last day of school. The whole day I was planning out how and what to say to Harmony. Being the timid person that I was, the right time or circumstances never arrived to say what I desperately wanted to say.
I remember looking at the clock. Ten minutes until the final bell. All my friends were talking and laughing, counting down the final minutes before freedom was granted. My heart raced and my palms were wet. I realized my opportunity was slipping by. In the next instant I blinked my eyes and heard the bell. The bottom dropped out of my stomach while I heard everyone cheering.
I remember seeing Harmony stand up ready to leave. In that instant she leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. I didn’t say anything. She didn’t say anything. Then she left.
I remember that she moved to Texas.
