How Can I Tell You What Happened When I Wasn’t There?
Faded Memories Of Melancholy
I could have been dreaming
Drifting in and out
Of a transcendent state of unconsciousness
Floating along the clouds
While an omnipresent force guided my flight
But I wasn’t so sure
To be frank, I had no idea where I was.
The narrow pathway
That led to a tunnel
With a blinding light gleaming on the other side
Beckoning me to make my way through
To greener pastures…
Was it all a figment of my imagination?
Or a forewarning from my subconscious?
Whose visions had materialised
As I lay awake
Staring up at the coffered ceilings.
Feeling like I was trapped in a confined space
With the weight of four concave walls
Closing in on me
As the insurmountable pressure dared to push down
On my fragile frame
Till it crushed my frail limbs
Into a trail of sawdust
Or ashes left over
From the cremation of an earthly being
In honour of her ascension.
Did it actually happen?
Or was it just a series of sinister images in my mind?
Intertwined with inauspicious thoughts
Threatening to dim out the euphoria
That had wrapped its arms around me
And charged my spirit
With the warmth of the sun.
In the blink of an eye
More like a minute
Of rapid eye movement
I felt my psyche come to life
Like an electric awakening
I found myself being lifted
Out of the iridescent lights
As they laid their overpowering beams
All around me
And conspired to restore my lifeline.
Was this the end or the beginning?
Maybe a rebirth or renewal of some sort?
It was like everything that had once come undone
My mind, body and soul
Were carefully being pieced back together, assembled
By a pair of feeble
Yet adept hands.
I finally opened my eyes
And in that moment
It became even more clear to me
That I had absolutely no idea
Of what had just happened
I had no recollection
Of the haunting images
That subdued my mind
Or the path my soul had travelled through
Just a moment ago.
What do you expect me to say now?
You asked me what happened
And I lay there
Face distorted
Mouth ajar
As if the words were trying to find their way
Out of a dimly lit labyrinth
With no clear road to redemption in sight.
The words continued to fail me
My addled mind
Rendered me helpless
I had no fight left in me
To unearth the hidden truth
Of my ethereal journey
Through life’s daunting hallway.
How can I tell you what happened when I wasn’t there?
-Mo Adefope
