How Poor the Rich Can Be
Magic/Adventure Happens Outside the Comfort Zone
I used to work as a teacher of English in a high profile company employing lots of high-flyers: engineers with exceptional abilities, skills, expertise, knowledge, intelligence and…fat wallets. From a time perspective I reminisce on it with pleasure as I realize how interesting this experience was for me.
Thanks to them I’ve learned how poor the rich can be.
My adventure at the company started with interviews aiming at placing the right students in the right groups of English advancement level. Already at this preliminary stage of the contact with them I understood that hell, it was going to be quite curious! I remember interviewing one very (as it turned out later) kind man, let’s call him Jerry. He was supposed to discuss the benefits of camping. A very simple topic one would think and he, a project manager priding himself on remarkable mental sharpness and creativity, got stuck after the first argument, i.e. the price. He could think of one advantage only — camping is cheaper than staying at a hotel.
I could not believe my ears! Really? Is that all? Period. I was confused and embarrassed, he was confused and embarrassed too. A very uncomfortable situation — heavy atmosphere, dead silence between us.
I broke it first, with a smile I tried to convince him that camping could actually be much more ATTRACTIVE (not only more economical) than a hotel: lots of fresh air even at night — as the fabric separating you and the skies does not really count. There’s no living room, dining room or kitchen — just the outdoors with grass, trees, mountains surrounding you. Thus the bond with nature you consequentially develop that makes you feel like you’re in a cage once you get back to your comfortable home. Plus, there’s the freedom of changing places without much planning ahead — the spontaneity of traveling.
Clearly he hadn’t gone camping in his adult life at all. What for? He had sufficient money to afford the most luxurious facilities fulfilling his most sophisticated leisure needs. However, do comfort and luxury guarantee you exciting holidays? Are they really always indispensable to provide you with fun and relaxation?
Quite a boring and limited manner of thinking, if you were to ask my opinion, as some of us already know that magic/adventure happens outside the (even literal) comfort zone!
The first class in the first group, I handed out some xeroxed copies of a very light-hearted warm-up exercise, like:
Could you finish the following sentences:
Now I’d like to…
I hate it when people…
I love it when people…
If I had three wishes come true, they’d be….
etc.
So I give my students the sheets, telling them to complete the statements and that in 6 minutes we’ll have a blast discussing the replies. In response to my enthusiasm I hear from one serious engineer,
“Jeeez! Do we have to do that? It’s soooo boring!”
I’m taken aback at first, but qather my wits quickly. The first thing I fire is,
“Well, Michael, I’m not here to entertain YOU, you are here to entertain ME!”
I say it, hear it and…chuckle as I realize how AWFUL it sounds . And I admit it in front of all of them, laughing. I hasten to explain my point,
“Everything depends on you, guys! All we’re gonna do here in class will be as exciting as you make it! Exercises are neutral by nature, it’s YOU that can make them interesting and entertaining. So I’m counting on you to have a good laugh and have a lovely time!”
Michael was clearly shocked. And I tried to comprehend why? Here’s what I concluded:
He always pays others to entertain him and now in class with me, what the hell is going on? He’s a student, I’m a teacher. I’m paid to run classes, so I provide the service and he’s the recipient, the beneficiary of the relation between us. So, according to his standard way of thinking, I should dance, sing, make funny faces, tell jokes. He claps or yawns, depending on how I, the service provider, perform. Too much yawning is of course promptly communicated, often in a rude impatient manner, so that the party responsible for the yawning could learn, correct her actions and improve ASAP.
That’s the way the rich often think. They don’t assume that at least sometimes it simply doesn’t work, just like in the case of foreign language classes. Sometimes to make things work, even if you pay someone for something, you’ve got to contribute, you must make some effort. In general, we could argue that it’s often the giving not the taking that makes us wiser, happier, more fulfilled — richer.
Further on in the learning year, we talk about spending our leisure time, how, who with. What do I get from one of my student at the company? Joe says that his family likes spending their free time with people of similar financial standing. Now, I’m simplifying his words, as Joe beats about the bush, but that’s basically the meaning. He adds that’s the reason why he’s broken up his contact with the majority of his high school friends. They’ve dropped out as they’re not wealthy enough. Of course again he doesn’t say it openly, but again that’s what he means.
What do I reply? I say I understand his point of view. When you’re out somewhere it’s pretty convenient not to have to pay attention whether a given attraction costs too much for your partners, you just want to do whatever you wish — because you can afford it. How convenient.
I say I understand his point of view, but…I tag on the following:
“Don’t you think it’s a bit confining? I have friends poorer and more opulent than me, and I’ve always found that much more… enriching! By keeping in touch with them, meeting them, talking to them, sharing our life experience, I can perceive, feel, understand the world from different perspectives instead of enjoying the comfort of only my own.”
Well, at the end of the day, it’s not the convenience that counts but a human being.
Amen.
Disclaimer.
By writing this piece I do not wish to generalize. Not all rich people in the world behave, think, feel in the ways described above. I just noticed some patterns of the said ways in the company I worked in for two years.
The astonishing part of the story is, the people working there liked me a lot, I liked them, and we had a hell of great time together, laughing and sharing our (often different) points of view. Even Michael bent over backward to be amusing and thrilling (successfully). Jerry got talked by a bunch of his friends into going on holidays with a tent and a sleeping bag but no plan nor itinerary. Did I contribute to all this? I like to think I did indeed, at least a tiny bit.
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