How to Get Out of the Friendzone by Playing Dungeons and Dragons
By Justin Borak
Dating is tough. With the sex drive at 100 because of quarantine and everyone single person living alone having experienced crippling loneliness due to self-isolation, a lot of people are trying to find their soul mate for the second wave.
Some people find dating apps like Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, and Club Penguin to be the best way to meet new people who also desperately want to tell their stuck up sister, “Look who isn’t single now, Wendy!”, but some already have that special someone.
Whether it’s that special someone you took that a cooking class with and Facebook stalk from time to time, or its the friend of a friend you met while at a Rodeo, trying to move a pal to a partner can be tough, until know.
The perfect move to talk a friend to a fuck-buddy isn’t being honest about your feelings and doing a “big romantic gesture” but it’s inviting them to join your party of goblins on a quest to find the last emerald ring of Faërun.
Dungeons and Dragons have been known as the game for virgins and the cast of Stranger Things but not anymore. Firstly, this friend you wanna french could be in the same city as you or across the globe, D&D has taken over during quarantine as the perfect way for nerdy friends to keep being nerdy and could easily connect you and your future fiancé while you battle an evil horde of mind flayers.
Second, it takes a bit of work to start a game. You have to build a character and make a back story, and while some people call that “grunt work” you can call it, “sewing the seeds of your future love garden”. Giggling over what class to play, teaching them about spell slots and the differences between a Potion of Healing and a Potion of GREATER Healing, and what could be sexier than deciding over your first feat, “Oh, you want Magic Initiate? How about Elemental Adept because we could really use someone who can get HOT with fire damage…”
When the game starts is the trial, make are the character you build is the coolest, suavest person in the party. Oh, this baby needs saving? Don’t worry y’all, done. Sorry, did you say someone murdered your family and burned your home, real quick locate creature spell and boom it was the baker, anyone wanna grab an ale?
Not only will playing D&D gives you the extra time you crave with the person of your fantasies but it gives you the chance to show yourself in this cool new light. No longer will they look at you at the nerdy person who is obsessed with Game of Thrones they met at that improv show once. NOW, they see you as that nerdy person from the improv show who is as cool as the CHARACTERS from Game of Thrones, you feel that? It’s finally a little respect coming from your dad.
While people can still argue that Dungeons and Dragons is the nerdiest thing to happen since a weather balloon full of Pokemon cards exploded at Comic-Con, it is just nerdy enough to help you find the love you need before we all see the CDC’s shadow and go back under for 18 more weeks of quarantine.
