I Love Lamp
By Stephen M. Tomic
Let’s imagine Tim. When I picture him in my mind I see a guy about to turn forty-seven. He goes running in the winter wearing Spandex long johns but carries a bit of a paunch. He’s freshly divorced and trying to be philosophical about it all. This is the chance for a new beginning, he tells himself in the mirror while brushing his teeth and tracing the historical markers of his hairline’s slow and steady retreat. The kids stay with Lauren, who lives five minutes away in another suburb. They’re both teenagers and could give a crap about their parents’ problems. Tim yearns to connect with them since he only sees them every other weekend. He tries to be the cool dad by sending them silly emojis and recording TikTok videos. He’s not having much success but remains stoic about it all.
“They’re just teens being teens,” he says to his co-worker, Duane.
Duane’s in accounting. He has his own quirks and life story, but we’re focusing here on Tim, people.
Lauren talks with distress about how their daughter Kimmy has been sneaking out at night to meet up with her boyfriend, who’s seventeen and smokes menthols. Lord knows what else they’re doing, she texts him. The subtext is so obvious Tim briefly considers pissing her off by replying with an eggplant emoji but thinks better of it. Some things aren’t worth fighting over.
