In 1000 years no one will remember the restaurants, or the genocide
Genghis Khan was once the supreme leader of the Mongol Empire.
Genghis Khan Mongolian Grill is an all-you-can-eat restaurant located in midtown Toronto.
Genghis Khan and his Mongol horde killed over 35 million people over the course of their many campaigns.¹
Genghis Khan Mongolian Grill and its staff serve an average of 180 customers over the course of a day.²
It will take Genghis Khan Mongolian Grill 532 years of uninterrupted service to serve as many people as Genghis Khan killed in his conquest of Eurasia.
If the Mongol invasions had never taken place, there would be an additional 1 billion people on Earth today.
In light of this fact, some refer to Genghis Khan as the greatest environmentalist in the history of mankind.
These people are sociopaths.
Some refer to Genghis Khan Mongolian Grill as being a great restaurant.
These people are also sociopaths.
In battle, Genghis Khan’s armies would cut down enemy soldiers using poison-coated arrows.
Genghis Khan Mongolian Grill’s website logo uses Papyrus as its font of choice.
Both of these are illegal under the rules of the Geneva Convention.
Genghis Khan once dispatched emissaries to the Khwarazmian Empire- who brought with them rare spices, opulent jewels, and livestock as gifts- in an attempt to garner favour from their leader, Shah Ala ad-Din Muhammad.
Genghis Khan Mongolian Grill offers discount rates for parties of 15 or more, and 20% off the regular adult all-you-can-eat price for seniors who are 65 or older (with ID), in an attempt to garner favour from BlogTO food critics.
The Khwarazmians had the Mongolian emissaries beheaded shortly after their arrival, and Genghis Khan retaliated by wiping out their entire civilization.
The BlogTO staff reviewed Genghis Khan Mongolian Grill, and have it listed under their ‘Chinese food’ section.
They have not yet been wiped out by Genghis Khan Mongolian Grill.
The Mongol horde, on several occasions, attempted to conquer the island of Japan- but twice their fleets were destroyed by a typhoon before they could effectively mount an invasion.
Located next to Genghis Khan Mongolian Grill, at the end of the strip mall it occupies on Don Mills Road, is another ‘all you can eat’ restaurant- called Memories of Japan.
The Mongolian Empire’s conquest of Eurasia took over 200 years to complete.
Genghis Khan Mongolian Grill’s conquest of the Toronto restaurant scene has only just begun.
Footnotes
[1] Adolf Hitler, by comparison, caused the deaths of roughly 50–80 million people by starting WWII.
[2] Adolf Hitler Schnitzel Haus is set to open in Summer, 2936.
