It was, perhaps, a bit needlessly convoluted…
inspired by an unprompted prompt, for Stephen
When I said I was going to take you somewhere you’d never been, I really wasn’t trying to create a challenge.
I’d only wanted you to see exactly how far you’d come, and how far we had yet to go, but time isn’t linear here, in these…matters.
You would know this, if only you stopped drinking those concoctions. Who drinks from bottles with handwritten labels anyway? Of course they smell wonderful, that’s the whole point. Please, try to pay attention.
We need to talk about these issues with the caterpillar. No, no, NO! He is not kind, and wise. Do you still fail to realize why you’re always getting lost after the briefest of conversations with him? He’s nothing but a…well, never-mind all of that. You’ll figure it out, eventually.
They usually blame the cat, but I tell you, that repulsive blue creature is in cahoots with The Hatter. If he brings down one more Wrong version of You, I’m quitting.
There, there. I’m sorry. Drink your tea, dear. Yes, I’ll stop pacing.
Stop gazing off like that, that’s how all this trouble started anyway. If you’d have listened to me closely, and followed closer — like you should, we never would have arrived so late.
What’s that? Oh, don’t worry about the Queen. I think she’s taken a liking to you. I mean, she hasn’t spoken of your head on her trophy wall in at least
3 days now… Besides, she’s been much too busy to fret over you, after finding out about the King’s affair with her sister…and I do not look forward to what happens when she finds him.
Which brings us to that business of the Jabberwocky. He’s caught on to our decoys. We need to stop feeding him the Queen’s guards. It is a bit tricky to mask the taste of cardboard after all, and…
Goodness me, you get distracted more than the Twins after too much sugar. Honestly. It’s a marvel you made it through the 5th grade with that mind.
Listen here, I’ve had something special made for you. It’s not as nice as mine, of course, but it should do the trick. You need to keep this in your pocket at all times, and I believe that may be enough to keep you here.
The Right You. These days it’s hard to tell, when this version, and that version of You keep popping up in the queerest of places… That caterpillar would keep us all guessing until he’s lived through a hundred cycles, and if I see that insidious smile, and purple swoosh of tail telling me you’re gone again one more time…
Yes. Yes. I’m sorry. You know how I’ve had a hard time forgiving him after the last time he tried to eat me…
So you see, you simply wind it up here, and… Oh no. Wait. Just a moment.
Let me get the key. I know I put it in the top drawer…
The hurrier I go, the behinder I get.
My my, not again! I told her to wander off…
Oh, Alice.
-The White Rabbit, on conversations with Alice
