It’s the Season to Discover!
Lately, I’ve been making many discoveries. I think it’s because the leaves have fallen, trees are naked and you can see what’s been hiding behind them. Like you can now look straight into the opposite neighbours’ bedroom and find out there’s nothing going on… Here’s a few others:
- People are getting lonelier and lonelier. I see phone numbers everywhere, just left there, just in case, maybe someone will get the hint, maybe someone will call… Here’s one left in a car (with a misspelled ‘thank you’…). Other examples included one just stuck to a lamppost and on a piece of paper on someone’s desk. That’s three different occasions in about a space of 2 weeks.
2. Speaking of numbers. I noticed that the guy who invented the keyboard didn’t really know the alphabet too well. Look at your keyboard! The longest correct alphabetically sequence there is ‘jklm’ (felt nice to type it!). Others are a jumbled mess (sdfg????), he had no clue of the order of letters, poor thing. Yet the numbers are ordered correctly! Computer guy, hey. They say it’s made that way to prioritise frequently typed letters. Well, I’d love to see a keyboard with frequently typed numbers instead! What would they be? For me, zero. And it would be so handy for doing my accounts and many other things. To get a superzero, press shift.
3. Speaking of which, here’s an energy saving tip I discovered. If I put effort into something, or if I do nothing at all about it, the result is the same — zero. Might as well conserve energy. Can’t be bad news, especially on these cold winter days.
4. Let’s change the topic. The swastika is nothing but a cross with broken arms. First we draw a cross (try this!), then we break its arms, all in the same direction. I guess it’s this second part that attracted Hitler.
5. Hmm, while arms break in same direction, titles on book spines face different directions depending on the language. For example, Dutch, English and German face to the left, while French, Spanish and Russian to the right. Just telling you so you know because for me this was as much of a life-changing discovery as finding a flesh in the FedEx logo. I still can’t get over that one.
6. Speaking of revelations. Woman is a contraction of ‘Womb’ and ‘man’. It was always there! See my point above.
7. Free will doesn’t exist. Who the hell is willing to do anything for free these days?? Except children and those of us who are writing long and useless list articles.
8. A nice trick to having loads of imaginary friends that doesn’t require much imagination. There are loads of people around, there is one example right now sitting at the table next to me. Now just take it one step further — imagine that you are friends with him. Now you have an imaginary friend. Same goes for celebrities, or people who no longer talk to you. Just imagine they still do and you can keep this imaginary friendship going for years. Very low maintenance, you switch it off and on and they always say exactly the thing you imagine they’d say in a conversation with you.
9. The top part of your fingers cannot bend by itself. If you wanna bend it, it’ll bend with the part below it. Except the thumb, but only because it consists of two parts. This discovery has no value, no connection to the previously shared material and is not about to lead to some smart-ass conclusion.
10. Do I notice things more lately because of meditation? I don’t think so. Sure, meditation is nice but so is medication. Which works great in combination with mindlessness. You don’t notice anything at all, except for the important things I’m sharing here.
