Jesus was an Astronaut

Zack Chapepa
Jul 6, 2019 · 2 min read
Photo: Pixabay

There’s a girl next to you. You don’t know her name, but she must be one of the other ones. The tidy makeup that would have looked half as good yesterday looks worse now. You don’t mind the mess because that is the least of your problems. You get up to find the kitchen is worse. Brussel sprouts and fries spread all over the floor and the fridge door is open. The dog is sleeping next to the door and it’s eating something that looks like an uncooked fish or steak. Your stomach turns and you wonder what it is that happened last night. You hear a growl coming from across the room. The girl who was sleeping next to you is now awake and she is walking out of the room holding her clothes and what looks like one of your watches.

You want to go after her, but your phone rings from the counter, loud enough that it sounds like it’s ringing next to your ears. You see your girlfriend’s photo appear on the screen and in that moment you hear a voice in your head say “oh, shit!”

Two men argue on the television. One is saying that Jesus was an astronaut and that he was on a space mission when he ascended to ‘heaven’. He continues with the theory, but it’s sad you can’t hear the rest because Mia’s voice is clouding everything else.

She is furious that you missed the appointment again and she will reschedule for the couple’s counselling next week. You apologize and slip in a “I don’t feel so good today,” but she doesn’t buy it. You already have two missed appointments and now it seems you are just making up excuses so you don’t have to go. She asks if you still love her and if you do you should let her know then. She says if you don’t love her you should hang up and never talk to her again.

She reminds you that she has to make all the appointments and pick up shit after you. She has been around putting up with your bullshit for a long time and that if you don’t find a way to pull it together she’ll call it quits and move on. You apologize and tell her she is the only reason you are alive and if it were not for the things she’d done for you you’d be out in the streets picking up after people and putting into your mouth what other people spit out at dinner. You apologize dearly. This time you hear her voice soften and realize how much she means to you.


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The Junction

The Junction is a digital crossroads devoted to stories, culture, and ideas. Our interests are legion.

Zack Chapepa

Written by

Life and Pie

The Junction

The Junction is a digital crossroads devoted to stories, culture, and ideas. Our interests are legion.

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