Magic Tricks
Inspired by Chalkboard’s One-Line Prompt “Magic”, in a Not So One-Lined Way
Never have I trusted my path more than now, it’s like magic.
Legit, I am levitating through life.
I thought it was magic
the way I went from drinking-
thinking two days is impossible to not at least have a glass or two of wine, or three, or that- AND (if we are talking about early 2017 drowing in Trumpression) a shot of tequila…
— to consuming no alcohol for 27 days!
In fact, alcohol is not even barely on my mind now except the occasional craving.
It was magic that eliminating it as a daily choice to make wasn’t nearly as hard as I expected.
I knew that everything I wanted was on the other side of fear.
I knew that —
what’s in the way, is the way.
I knew I could taste it, the sweetness of freedom.
So close, and yet so damn far.
One day?
Ok.
No problemo!
A pain in the ass, not a thing I wanted to do, but so unwillingly doable.
But two?
TWO DAYS?
48 hours?
With not a drop?
Impossible!
It was completely impossible,
until,
it wasn’t.
It was completely impossible,
until,
I wrote-
The way I chose to show up for myself that day, on August 2nd post Kathy Jacobs’s weekly Chalkboard Prompt. The way I chose to be accountable to myself that day, was to put it out there to you. Thank you Harper Thorpe for the prompt. Thank you Laura McKowen for the insta-tribe of women.
Guess what? It WORKED!
Everything I wanted,
-was on the other side of fear.
Everything I wanted,
-was on the other side of a bottle.
Everything I wanted,
-was on the other side of IMPOSSIBLE!
Thank you to Steve Campbell for giving this piece a home. Getting a piece accepted to the Ascent is no small feat, and when I do receive an email letting me know that this Publication has published a story of mine, it gives me a high far better then any glass of wine could deliver. I feel that way with all my editors. So much gratitude.
Me putting it out there, for the world to see on Instagram (tagging the women, and their fans- @hipsobriety and @laura_mckowen who have a growing huge following of instaTRIBE of instaSISTERS) made this possible. We are all connected. By Instagram Direct Messaging women out there, by asking for support, by wanting to show up for myself by being accountable to them, by putting it out there here on Medium, I got past the two day hump and slid into almost a month now pretty easily.
The magic?
It wasn’t the magic we all think of, the “abracadabra” kind.
No,
-it was the “A Hero’s Journey” kind,
You see,
as I made space for myself,
inside myself,
by not drowning my insides with shame from a glass…
my inner guide, she had more room to breath and she came up closer to the surface, she moved through my veins, cell tissues, and organs, and she sang!
She sang of freedom,
She sang of gratitude,
She sang of gifts, filled with presence.
A hero’s journey.
Check out this video on YouTube:
It was in me all along! Magic came to the surface.
So……Am I glad cocaine is not part of my wedge? You know it! Am I beyond thrilled I haven’t had a sleeping pill in over 18 months? God yes! Is it a good thing I never hang out with Molly anymore? On point! Am I glad I am not into weed because it would just give me uncontrollable munchies? Absofuckinlutely! Do I want to work on laying off the candy filled sugar that some how has creeped into my world perhaps to fill a wine deprived void? Fuck yes! Am I grateful that there are so many drugs out there I have never tried and would never try ever? Yes, this is clutch!
Do I want sobriety for the rest of my life from booze? Do I want to drink tomorrow?
I have no idea and it doesn’t matter. What matters is right now. What matters is living in an Eckart Tolle moment. This moment. The one that doesn’t waste time grieving or regretting the past. The one that doesn’t drain time spinning a monkey brain around the future. This is the moment that matters.
And living in presence, stillness, awareness- is simply the most incredible magic trick I can do for myself…..
Stay Fierce 💃
I would be honored should you chose to affirm my writing by giving me 👏’s at the bottom of this story. It helps connect my words with a reader meant to see them at the exact moment they are supposed to. I might inspire them, or you, and most likely, you and other readers will inspire me right back. Much love —
With thanks to Kathy Jacobs and Nancy E. Pitts
Now it’s your turn..
