Naughty Girls and Their Shocking Pillow Talk
Escapist fantasies
“Did you just fart?”
“NO! I did not.”
“Okayyy. Just checking if you were awake,” Shanice says with a giggle. “It’s okay if you did though. I kinda like yours.”
“I said, I did NOT,” Amy retorts in the darkness, trying to sound affronted and failing.
“I was wondering where we should go on vacation this summer.”
“Uggh. Don’t start with that again.” Amy huffs.
“No harm planning and besides I can’t sleep.”
Amy groans but joins in. “OK. Let’s go to Dubai.”
“Too hot, babes. I’ll burn and you’ll melt.” Shanice turns in her bed, to recline on her elbow. “How about Bali?”
“Bali? No way. Thai food is too hot for me. They use weird spices. Makes my pee all funny.”
“Stand-up and do it, you could be in comedy.” Shanice snaps her fingers. “And girl, Bali is in Indonesia. Just sayin’.”
“Oh yeaah. Isn’t that the place from that movie…Eat Pray Fuck or something. With Javier Bardem.” Amy titters, “Him, I’d do in a heartbeat.”
Shanice rolls her eyes. “He’ll only last a heartbeat. Look at you. A minute ago you weren’t even keen on our holiday, and now we’re discussing your Daddy issues.”
“He’s not THAT old. And who are you going to take?”
“Jamie Foxx! Duh.”
“WHATT? He wears Hello Kitty boxers fachrissakes,” Amy shrieks.
“Shhhh. Keep it down girl.” Shanice hisses. “And you wouldn’t be the first genius to judge a book by its cover.”
Amy grins in the darkness. “I know you want to devour his bestseller.”
Shanice laughs and her bunk wobbles, even as she buries her face in the musty pillow to muffle the sound.
Amy is privately pleased with Shanice’s reaction and begins to fantasize about a career in comedy. She visualizes Seinfeld doubling over in the front row as she opens on Saturday Night Live. Just as she is about to walk onto the stage, of the Jimmy Fallon show, Shanice pipes up again.
“Seriously, who do YOU want to take to Bali?”
“Umm, Let’s see.” Pause. “Okay. Adam Levine?”
Shanice chuckles. “He’s badass alright. Not quite a brother but maroon’s close enough. Maybe we can swap the boys in the second week.”
Amy cracks up. “You’re so mad. But why not.”
“Do you know which bikinis to take?”
“First, I’ve got to drop two sizes by Jun’22,” laments Amy
“Whoaa June’22? I thought you had five years to go.”
“I’m eligible for parole in two years, sweetie.”
Shanice sits up in her bunk bed. “You go, girl!. That’s a year sooner than me. You know, I’m gonna miss your farts.”
