Humor
Roommate’s Phone Interview for a Vet Tech Position
Spoiler alert, she didn’t get the job
“Hi! I looove animals sooo much. Getting paid to work with them is craaazy.”
“Yes, I’m currently in NYC, but I’m sick of rats and little yippy dogs. That’s why I applied for your position in Montana. Big sky, big animals. Am I right? I love big furry dogs. Cats are okay, if they follow directions. And if they don’t scratch. I guess I prefer declawed cats.”
“Inhumane? It’s inhumane that cats have claws. You know who they use claws on? Humans.”
“What do I think about horses? I’m not really into those fantasy movies.”
“You mean they’re real? Like unicorns and shit?”
“Okay, I’m down with horses and unicorns, but grizzly bears would freak me out.”
“You don’t treat grizzly bears? That’s great. What do you treat?”
“Goats are the bomb, man. How can you not love goats?”
“No, I haven’t worked with goats, but I’ve been meaning to sign up for that goat yoga class. It looks amazing, and it’s totally gone viral.”
“Pigs? That’s going to be a hard no. I’m Jewish, but you can’t refuse to hire me because of my religion.”
“Chickens? I’m actually terrified of anything that flies. I had this incident with some pigeons in Central Park…”
“Chickens don’t fly? They’re birds, right?”
“Cows are cool. They’re so cute.”
“I’ve totally seen cows.”
“In person? Of course not. I live in New York City. Maybe I’d be better off with dogs, but no dire wolves. Actually, no undesirable wolves either.”
“Oh, you’ve got to go? It was great to talk to you. Enjoy the rest of your day and your big sky. I’m going to pop out and grab a Starbucks.”
“Yeah, I’ll watch out for the pizza rat. Bye bye.”
