Silly Sex Rituals
Episode 1
“Just do it already.”
“Uhhh…”
Blake sat there naked on his knees. A cinammon scented Yankee Candle burned between his hands.
Lorelei gripped the sides of the inflatable mattress. She lay there in a kind of modified puppy pose, with her butt in the air.
“Is this supposed to be a turn on?” Blake asked.
“It might be if you stopped being such a sissy.” She turned her head to look up at him. Her chestnut eyes wavered between sympathy and annoyance. Until recently, Blake had been merely an inexperienced missionary man. She wanted to broaden his horizons. But first she wanted this. “Do it,” she commanded. “And then spank me.”
“All right, all right, already.” Blake inhaled the cinnamon-sweet air. A wave of nausea passed from his head down to his bowels. He tipped the candle at a forty-five degree angle, lowering it towards her raised butt cheeks.
A bit of wax dripped and quickly solidified on Lorelei’s tailbone. He spanked her once. A soft moan escaped her lips. Then she farted.
“Again,” she asked.
At first the smell was masked by the candle. Then, the two scents mixed — toxically.
Blake gagged a little and poured way more wax than he intended. It cascaded in a red, magmatic flow all over Lorelei’s butt and backside.
“Yow!” she cried. “WHAT THE FUCK?” Her legs kicked up involuntarily. One hit Blake squarely in his happy sack. The sudden impact connected like a lit fuse and it took only a second or two before Blake began to blow chunks. In such a dire circumstance, he dropped the candle.
Lorelei tried rolling onto her back to avoid the fountain of red wine and mostaccioli spewing from Blake’s mouth.
“Oh God, oh God,” they both muttered, one after the other.
The candle, which had remained lit in its tumble onto the inflatable mattress, was snuffed out by the sudden puncture of its PVC hide. Blake lost his balance and fell atop Lorelei, who was covered in his mess. The mattress sighed and sank slowly to the hardwood floor of their brand new home.
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