Social Media Haikus
the complete collection
by Joe
facebook statuses
the sonnets and tankas of
millennials. Like!
my life in pictures
vintage filtered, tilt shifted,
are you influenced?
Medium I
she who starts out as
a self-help guru will soon
be penning haikus
tried it for a week,
my ADHD flared up —
tweets are for the birds
Snapchat
cherished memories,
decorum and permanence —
so overrated
Medium II
wait, so you’re saying
I can’t submit from the app? —
love y’all anyway
Tinder
guys just want to fuck
misaligned expectations
girls — higher standards
Yelp
wow, you got take-out
you’re a foodie grand master
those who can’t cook — judge
Medium III
I gave you fifty …
would you indulge me in some
reciproclapping?
Narrative
the Gold Rush is on —
cat pictures plus copy, for
cryptocurrency
TikTok
video app that
gobbled up musical.ly —
China’s killin’ it!
Medium IV
please tell me, Your Friends—
will the apps ever improve?
not holding my breath
TripAdvisor
spent ten grand on flights
and all I got were these dumb
virtual badges
AirBnB
you want free shampoo?
it’s my couch you’re renting, dude,
not the penthouse suite
Medium V
wrote some mock reviews,
got Top Writer in Travel —
here’s to rogue tagging!
the web’s gateway drug
which subreddit will you take
down the r/abbit hole
AOL
this is a throwback
wait, I need to dust off my
hundred baud modem
YouTube
Netflix, hold my beer —
I invented binge watching
(of cat videos)
would you like me to do more? please share your suggestions in the comments section
some of these haikus have previously appeared under separate cover in No Crime in Rhymin’ and Writers on the Run
