Spaces to soften boundaries
The summer I stayed in a rented apartment by the beach in a small town just a 40 minute drive away, you asked to see me. Telling you that I was not in town I proceeded to invite you despite the fact that I had booked this place to steer clear of any distractions to finish working on my next book. I couldn’t resist the temptation of having you all to myself in a place far away from all of the obstacles that defined what we had.
When you finally got here I offered to make you lunch. I said make yourself feel at home and to you that meant pulling your guitar out of its case to finish writing your songs.
I came with the groceries to find you playing a song I could only assume was your way of showing me how you felt. But then again I was always one for wishful thinking.
You poured yourself a glass of whiskey you had bought on your way to me. Coming to make conversation as I chop the vegetables in the kitchen counter. The more we talk I feel tempted to lean over and kiss you but I hold myself back every time. Must not show affection. After all this isn’t a relationship but just a casual hookup. But the only boundaries labels create are for pretending, there was no way of creating boundaries when it comes to your feelings.
Thinking you’d never feel the same way back I resist all temptations. Even as I felt you gaze more strongly at me as I talked about my favorite books and saw, from the corner of my eye, a smile forming in the corners of your mouth. Your eyes squinting a little beginning to show the wrinkles by your eyes. Who knew at only 23 your face can give away to age.
After switching to the stove, the whole apartment filled with smoke. You ran over to the big glass doors and opened both to let in the fresh air. I gazed over to you and caught a glimpse of the sunlight hitting your face. Making the green in your eyes pop. It softened your face. Didn’t make you look like you were really a million miles away.
It didn’t take long for the smell of burned onions to be replaced by the ocean breeze. And as you make your way to me I see that something changed inside of you.
Whether you were intoxicated by the whiskey or high off the smell of the sea, I couldn’t tell.
You came up from behind as I was standing over the stove and wrapped your arms around me. Squeezed me tight giving me a soft kiss on the cheek. You didn’t have to say the words to show me you felt the same way about me.
