That Scraper Thingy at Fancy Restaurants

That very personal utensil falls somewhere between a toothbrush and a nose trimmer

J.A. Taylor
The Junction

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Photo by VisionPic .net from Pexels

I fondly remember two anniversary dinners with my wife where a fancy establishment had the privilege of being littered with my gauche charm. Both of them used that scraper thingy.

The first such experience occurred in 1999 at the Ritz Carlton in Naples, Florida where we spent $120 on a one-course meal for her, consisting of a dressed up saltine cracker and sparkling water, and a three-course meal for me of food resembling candies from a Whitman’s Sampler box.

The other memorable anniversary meal transpired in 2019 at Halls Chop House in Greenville, South Carolina where we spent $212.12 on a pair of filets the chef forgot to season.

What makes these two fine dining establishments so memorable? What puts them into the category of “fancy”? It wasn’t the price. I’ve paid much more to eat with princesses at Disney World in their castle. Look, if you’re going to Disney World, eat in the damn castle and enjoy it. Having lobster for breakfast is a nice break from the 105 degree, 90 percent morning humidity, while a too-pudgy Jasmine tries to convince your daughters she is the real deal. It was the most expensive breakfast I’ve eaten, a modest $720.49.

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