The Falls
From the “And Yet…” Series
It wasn’t his first time to the falls: the endless rolling over of infinite gallons. It still held a place of wonder, but never seemed to satisfy. He stared as if it was a fount of life, ready to divulge secrets unseen, but it never gave beyond a dull roar of awe. ‘What’s the meaning?’
He walked briskly upstream, hoping for some new perspective or perhaps even an answer. It was just thick bushes and still water: less people at least. Seeing a small blue heron did soothe him to some extent, but if he wanted soothing, his many vices would do just fine. He ached for transcendence while not believing it existed. He didn’t believe in God, or good, or any other discrimination between things. At least this is what he told himself and others, but since that dreadful day, his living death, the day he dared not speak of, since then, numbness endlessly rolled over him from anywhere he could find it.
He wasn’t actually looking for transcendence like he told himself. He came to fall, to end. But without believing any choice to be better or worse, he couldn’t bring himself to choose. ‘Why die? Why live? Am I living? Why not just keep on?’
Again and again, with each trip to the falls, the dreadful day would appear. The day of the girl’s death. The day he never left, that never left him. Quickly covered in mist, he…
