Why Life Begins at 40, Obviously.
And Why Your 30s Will Suck! Suck! Suck!
They say life begins at 40, but I never understood this saying until very recently, when it became very clear to me.
Having lived enough life to be in the throes of my late thirties, I have come to the conclusion that life truly does begin at 40, and this is the reason: those who are 40-and-over have lived long enough to make the realisation that they can sell absolutely anything to thirty-year-olds who are now starting to take life a little more seriously. And with this realisation, the 40-and-overs make their fortunes and truly begin to live.
“those who are 40-and-over have lived long enough to make the realisation that they can sell absolutely anything to thirty-year-olds”.
It’s the truth. I mean they could never dream of peddling the many things they sell to anyone younger than 30 because nowadays, those in their 20s are way too drugged to feel their brain cells working, while teenagers are wayyy too drunk to care about the workings of their livers *(this might be the other way round, I’m not entirely sure)*. So it is basically impossible to sell anything about taking life seriously to this group of agers who seem to wholeheartedly believe that life is all about sex, drugs, rock and roll.
“nowadays, those in their 20s are way too drugged to feel their brain cells working, while those in their teens are way too drunk to care about the workings of their livers”.
Now cue in the poor 30-year-olds who are fresh from The Power of Now rehabilitation by Eckhart Tolle, and are now more woke about life than a paranoid hypochondriac. These lot present as ripened hunting game for those 40-and-overs who are looking to make a killing off of the confusion that ensues from reaching ones 30s in a state of acute depression.
This is where the lifestyle predators lurk and begin to spread their tips on how 30-year-old degenerates can live their best lives. Cue in the mind-and-body fitness gurus (obviously in their 40s and above), the spiritual guides who sell lifetime memberships of worship, and the gods of business entrepreneurism who are more than willing to impart all of their wisdom for a yearly subscription to their premium master classes. Not to mention the get rich schemers and scammers who for some reason or another seem to really love pyramids.
All in all, the unnerving uncertainties of our 30s serve as the perfect battlegrounds and marketplaces for manipulative opportunists to fatten themselves off of the bliss that is ignorance. And as we learn the tricks of the trade from those 40-and-overs, we slowly begin to understand all of the reasons why life begins at 40.
“our 30s serve as the battlegrounds and marketplaces for manipulative opportunists to fatten themselves off of the bliss that is ignorance”.
Then we get there, and we too make names for ourselves, courtesy of the new 30-somethings. And not before long, we also realise that life—after all its tiring twists and turns really is all about: sex, drugs, and rock-n’-roll.
Thank yOu for reading and for having a laugh with me.
