Member-only story

30 Hilariously Naughty Santa Jokes to Spice Up Your Christmas

Think you’ve been naughty this Christmas, well fear not, Santa can top you

David Graham
The Knowledge of Laughter
5 min readDec 15, 2024

--

Disclaimer: there will be much groaning ahead, potentially some moaning as well… You’ve been warned!

Why did Mrs clause divorce Santa?
She couldn’t cope with all the ho’s.

What do three ho’s get you?
One very jolly Santa.

Why did Naughty Santa get a ticket?
Because he was caught sleighing around!

How does Santa stay STD-free?
He wraps his package before going down the chimney.

What’s Santa’s safe sex tip?
Wrap your package before shoving it down the chimney.

Why does Santa always come through the chimney?
Because he knows better than to try the back door.

Why was the snowman smiling?
He could see the snowblower coming down the street.

Why is Santa so damn jolly?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

--

--

The Knowledge of Laughter
The Knowledge of Laughter

Published in The Knowledge of Laughter

Funny stories, jokes, along with anything that will make you laugh and bring a smile to your face.

David Graham
David Graham

Written by David Graham

Due to injury I write using voice dictation software. Lover of psychology, science, humour, history, fiction & self-improvement. https://linktr.ee/DavidGraham86

Responses (6)